Paddy bought 2 horses and could never remember which one was which. He cut the tail off one, and that worked great till the other horse got his tail caught in a bush and it looked exactly like the other. His pal suggested he notch the ear of one horse, and that worked great till the other horse caught his ear in barbed wire. The pal suggested Paddy measures the horses for height and was delighted the black horse was 2 inches taller than the white one!
So you're trying to tell me there's an Irishman who can use a tape measure ! 
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