SWEARING AT INANIMATE OBJECTS

[RedSpider]

A recent conversation has prompted this thread.
Post here you stories or swearing/threatening behaviour you have visited upon inanimate objects that may have inadvertantly caused you harm/ potential harm through no-ones fault but your own.

My first 2 stories to set the ball rolling...
1.
I once burnt the edge of my finger on the grill. I immediately stuck my 2 fingers ups at the grill and growled a hefty ~~~~~KK YOOOUUU at said grill.
Later on, as i walked past the grill, i glared at it in disgust for its betrayal.

2.
I nearly walked into a lampost. Dodging it, I said to the lampost '~~~~ off you coont' as it was clearly deliberately obstructing me

Add your own and lets all laugh at the psychological problems of each other

[Shady]

as stated in aforementioned convo; i stepped on an upturned plug once...after the pain subsided, i grabbed the pulg by its flex..akin to grabbing someone by the throat..i then proceeded to throttle it, hurling abuse at it for it daring to cross me..
after i had calmed down..did i put the thing plug was attached to away properly? did i ~~~~ers like..just left it on the floor to attack someone else

[reddevil157]

Use to do a bit of shuttering, one day, was tightening the nuts on a shutter with an Estwing hammer 21" shaft for a good swing. Anyway the nut was chest high, I swung the hammer at this nut like a ~~~~er ( right handed ) as I did my left arm went up for leverage, the head of the hammer skinned off the nut and hit my left arm ( soft part ) ~~~~ was it sore, I called that nut every ba**ard under the sun and swung even harder this time and of course, same thing again, ~~~~ me it would bring tears to a glass eye. The nut won in the end, still curse it to this day.

[bonus2010]

Ever walked into a car's tow bar... hey it's painful. Done this often in the confined spaces of the workshop.

These towbars have had a right roasting from me! On several occasions

[Canker_Canison]

Cars, computers, mobile phones... The list is long & distinguished.

But back in my younger, more stupid days. I used to play about with flash guns for cameras... making simple stun guns. They only put out about 400v DC so never enough to cause serious harm, just enough to make you jump like a mutha' ~~~~a'. The real things put out 50,000v DC

Not once did I make one without being shocked at least 4 times. It's not good receiving an electric shock while wielding a screwdriver, you tend to stab yourself.

[patkins]

What p*sses me off is when I'm out walking and at a side road junction an articulated lorry approaches so I walk up the length of the artic on the side road to get around it and as soon as I get to the back of it-it suddenly moves off leaving me halfway up a road that I don't want to be on. So I swear under my breath and feel foolish as in 'You've Been Framed'.

[barrowmanandrew]

went to the fridge one night to get a can i think, i remember i was very drunk that night....

i noticed the freezer door wasn't closed properly and tried to close it, but it wouldnt as the drawers had all iced up.

i stood there like a lunitic repeatedly slamming the door and calling the fridge for everything under the sun trying to close it.
i tell you, i left the damned appliance without a name.....

fridge got me back though...

in my drunken frustration i decided to kick the iced up door with my bare feet.

a big ~~~~in slither of ice broke free and slid right up under the nail of my big toe and snapped my nail down the middle.

it is difficult to describe the pain..

[Cronus]

A recent conversation has prompted this thread.
Post here you stories or swearing/threatening behaviour you have visited upon inanimate objects that may have inadvertantly caused you harm/ potential harm through no-ones fault but your own.

Well I must apologise to both my monitor and keyboard.

When I actually read this fcking idiotic post I started to swear and bang my keyboard in frustration.