It started fairly normal. The train was a few minutes late but not really worth complaining about.
I got on the train with my young daughter and found a seat.
After about an hour, a couple got on the train and, with their basic grasp of english, they informed me that they had reserved the seats in which i had parked myself and the baby.
Fine! The seats weren't marked as reserved but I removed myself anyway.
I traipsed myself, the baby and the luggage from one end of the train to the other looking for a seat, avoiding several people stood in the passageways etc, and almost coming a cropper a few times as the train rattled along.
Eventually, I found myself in the first class carriage. Angry and frustrated I thought sod it, I'm sitting here and so I plonked myself down.
I'm sat there for about 20 minutes thinking 'whats so ~~~~ing special about first class that they deem it necessary to charge twice as much for a ticket?'
Apart from the provision of a free cup of tea ad a rag on the back of the seat that reminds you of which carriage you're in, it's just the same as any other b*st*rd carriage.
Then, along comes Mr. Conductor, or as I noticed by his stupid badge, Blair. ~~~~ing Blair! Who's called Blair? What sort of a coont names their child Blair?
Anyway, he asks for my ticket which I show him without shame.
He feels the need to point out that it is not a first class ticket.
Durrrr, I know that, Blair. I take it your last name is b*st*rd Einstein!
I start explaining to him calmly why I had opted to seat myself in the first class carriage which, if he knew me, he would've realised that this was a rarity for me to be calm.
However, rather than just shut the ~~~~ up and listen to me explain, he chose to interupt me, telling me that I was not entitled to sit in the carriage. As truthful as his words were, he came across like a jumped up little Hitler.
Less calmly, I started to explain the situation again.
I offerd him a compromise that if he, as conductor, took it upon himself to perform his job and organise the passengers so that no ignorant ~~~~ers were sat taking up 2 seats with their bag on one of them, and see if he can free up 2 seats in 'peasant class', then I would relocate myself.
But he couldn't seem to get past the phrase of 'you are not entitled to sit in first class'
I pointed out to him that I had paid 70 quid for my ticket and I AM going to sit down on a seat, wherever it may be.
He told me that paying for a ticket does not automatically give you entitlement to a seat anywhere on the train. You're only entitled to a seat if you reserve a seat.
If I was on my own, Blair, this wouldn't be a problem. But I am travelling with a small child and I refuse to have her stood in a corridor for a nigh on 3 hour journey like we're in some third world country. ~~~~ you, Blair!
He suggested that I should have travelled later as it was a busy service at this time on a friday.
Be that as it may, Blair, I do this journey every other week at the same time without issue. Granted the summer holidays will be having an effect but why not simply, put more carriages on the train. Perhaps 8 instead of 4, knobhead!
'We have added an extra carriage for this service for the duration of the holiday period' he said.
One?
Just last week, I travelled on a train to Preston at 9.34pm and the train had 8 carriages. The train itself, was virtually empty so its not like there aren't enough carriages to go round if 8 carriages can be afforded to a non-busy service.
He then intimated a decision to kick me off the train at Sheffield and possible inclusion of the police.
I said 'ok, Blair. I'll go stand in the corridor shall I? And if my daughter falls or is knocked over and bangs her head, I can come looking for you can I?'
'....erm.... look' he replied. 'I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt this time and allow you to sit there for the duration of your journey as a favour'
Resisting the urge to laugh in his face because of his pussiness, I thanked him and returned to my supposed first class seat to brag of my victory via text mesage to Madame Spider.
That is all.
I got on the train with my young daughter and found a seat.
After about an hour, a couple got on the train and, with their basic grasp of english, they informed me that they had reserved the seats in which i had parked myself and the baby.
Fine! The seats weren't marked as reserved but I removed myself anyway.
I traipsed myself, the baby and the luggage from one end of the train to the other looking for a seat, avoiding several people stood in the passageways etc, and almost coming a cropper a few times as the train rattled along.
Eventually, I found myself in the first class carriage. Angry and frustrated I thought sod it, I'm sitting here and so I plonked myself down.
I'm sat there for about 20 minutes thinking 'whats so ~~~~ing special about first class that they deem it necessary to charge twice as much for a ticket?'
Apart from the provision of a free cup of tea ad a rag on the back of the seat that reminds you of which carriage you're in, it's just the same as any other b*st*rd carriage.
Then, along comes Mr. Conductor, or as I noticed by his stupid badge, Blair. ~~~~ing Blair! Who's called Blair? What sort of a coont names their child Blair?
Anyway, he asks for my ticket which I show him without shame.
He feels the need to point out that it is not a first class ticket.
Durrrr, I know that, Blair. I take it your last name is b*st*rd Einstein!
I start explaining to him calmly why I had opted to seat myself in the first class carriage which, if he knew me, he would've realised that this was a rarity for me to be calm.
However, rather than just shut the ~~~~ up and listen to me explain, he chose to interupt me, telling me that I was not entitled to sit in the carriage. As truthful as his words were, he came across like a jumped up little Hitler.
Less calmly, I started to explain the situation again.
I offerd him a compromise that if he, as conductor, took it upon himself to perform his job and organise the passengers so that no ignorant ~~~~ers were sat taking up 2 seats with their bag on one of them, and see if he can free up 2 seats in 'peasant class', then I would relocate myself.
But he couldn't seem to get past the phrase of 'you are not entitled to sit in first class'
I pointed out to him that I had paid 70 quid for my ticket and I AM going to sit down on a seat, wherever it may be.
He told me that paying for a ticket does not automatically give you entitlement to a seat anywhere on the train. You're only entitled to a seat if you reserve a seat.
If I was on my own, Blair, this wouldn't be a problem. But I am travelling with a small child and I refuse to have her stood in a corridor for a nigh on 3 hour journey like we're in some third world country. ~~~~ you, Blair!
He suggested that I should have travelled later as it was a busy service at this time on a friday.
Be that as it may, Blair, I do this journey every other week at the same time without issue. Granted the summer holidays will be having an effect but why not simply, put more carriages on the train. Perhaps 8 instead of 4, knobhead!
'We have added an extra carriage for this service for the duration of the holiday period' he said.
One?
Just last week, I travelled on a train to Preston at 9.34pm and the train had 8 carriages. The train itself, was virtually empty so its not like there aren't enough carriages to go round if 8 carriages can be afforded to a non-busy service.
He then intimated a decision to kick me off the train at Sheffield and possible inclusion of the police.
I said 'ok, Blair. I'll go stand in the corridor shall I? And if my daughter falls or is knocked over and bangs her head, I can come looking for you can I?'
'....erm.... look' he replied. 'I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt this time and allow you to sit there for the duration of your journey as a favour'
Resisting the urge to laugh in his face because of his pussiness, I thanked him and returned to my supposed first class seat to brag of my victory via text mesage to Madame Spider.
That is all.
x 5 
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