do i really need a funeral?

[super jumbe]

You should follow some people in India they hang the body on the tree and let the vulture finish the job, no cost what so ever??.

[lfc4life]

You should follow some people in India they hang the body on the tree and let the vulture finish the job, no cost what so ever??.

i dont want bargain basement

[barrowmanandrew]

how long do they practice on you for?

i think there is a major flaw in this method. summit you might not have considered...

i reckon mrs grumbles might not like the idea of mr grumbles getting roughly butchered for weeks on end after his untimely death..... and vice versa.....

i know the dead don't really benefit from being cremated or buried and it won't make a blind bit of diffrence to them what happens....

but it helps the living...closure and that.....

just a thought....

[Lainie]

oh i dont want buried at sea - i cannae swim and id drown

[jcgrumbles]

how long do they practice on you for?

i think there is a major flaw in this method. summit you might not have considered...

i reckon mrs grumbles might not like the idea of mr grumbles getting roughly butchered for weeks on end after his untimely death..... and vice versa.....

i know the dead don't really benefit from being cremated or buried and it won't make a blind bit of diffrence to them what happens....

but it helps the living...closure and that.....

just a thought....

Thanks for them thoughts,some of the family said much the same but i explained that they can grieve at my party if they want to as we all have to go through the motions,but they dont have to see me in a box to do that,and as for the `getting roughly butchered` bit,im a toon fan mate and im used to it!cheers...ps sorry first question,they can keep you as long as it takes mate,untill your all used up....

[jcgrumbles]

You should follow some people in India they hang the body on the tree and let the vulture finish the job, no cost what so ever??.

I suppose mrs grumbles could nail me by the clematis as thats the closest thing to a tree weve got(that does sound pretty horrific )and i dont know where i`ll be able to get the vultures in south shields,i suppose we could catch a couple of spuggies and file up their beaks a bit

[maca]

me m8 wants to be buried at sea thing is there still digging his grave now .......

[patkins]

A past workmate of mine passed away a few weeks ago and he had donated his body to medical science so, there was no funeral or expenses at my end with having to take time off work for a burial . So, everyone would seem to be quids in.
I've told the missus to just leave me out on bin collection day.

[Canker_Canison]

My brother-in-law just wants wrapping in an old carpet & chucking in the non-recycling skip at the local incinerator.

Think that will be happening sooner than he thinks,

[toolmansteve]

Now here is a nice cheap option, HOME BURIAL,
Home Burial - yes it is legal in the UK
When asked, the majority of people think that it's against the law to be buried at home, or maybe only allowed under very special circumstances. The truth is however, that as long as certain guildlines are followed to avoid potential public health risks, there is no law what-so-ever against being buried in your own garden, or on private land!

Wealthy families with large estates have for centuries, built a mausoleum or burial chambers
and vaults on their land, for the burial of a family member, as have certain religious groups (such as the Quakers) who also often used to bury their loved ones in their garden. It is a trend that is again on the increase.
Sooooooooo armed with this information, just dig a wee hole or a big hole for fat ba$tard$ like me -- and in we go, all warm and cosy and providing a vital link in the Nitrogen cycle. Just a bit of spade work. even get the local boy scouts to dig a hole during Bob A Job Week -- if that still exists. Just draw a headstone on the garden wall or fence add a few choice words and plant a few flowers or some rhubarb . Nice cheap job .

[jcgrumbles]

Now here is a nice cheap option, HOME BURIAL,
Home Burial - yes it is legal in the UK
When asked, the majority of people think that it's against the law to be buried at home, or maybe only allowed under very special circumstances. The truth is however, that as long as certain guildlines are followed to avoid potential public health risks, there is no law what-so-ever against being buried in your own garden, or on private land!

Wealthy families with large estates have for centuries, built a mausoleum or burial chambers
and vaults on their land, for the burial of a family member, as have certain religious groups (such as the Quakers) who also often used to bury their loved ones in their garden. It is a trend that is again on the increase.
Sooooooooo armed with this information, just dig a wee hole or a big hole for fat ba$tard$ like me -- and in we go, all warm and cosy and providing a vital link in the Nitrogen cycle. Just a bit of spade work. even get the local boy scouts to dig a hole during Bob A Job Week -- if that still exists. Just draw a headstone on the garden wall or fence add a few choice words and plant a few flowers or some rhubarb . Nice cheap job .

Now that sounds canny,im designing my headstone now..

[eileen]

"my mate died 14th july, doctor who confirmed said to contact the co-op, basic funeral ?2400, family chipped in to have family car ?145, they wont even bring the hearse to house to pick up family... that would cost another ?600, as it involves using more men, wtf, it would be the same driver would it not, seemingly a basic funeral will only go from funeral parlour to crem, that family car seems very expensive, for goin 3mile, and i bet it wont bring the family back for the wake, well peed off with the co-op

[jcgrumbles]

"my mate died 14th july, doctor who confirmed said to contact the co-op, basic funeral ?2400, family chipped in to have family car ?145, they wont even bring the hearse to house to pick up family... that would cost another ?600, as it involves using more men, wtf, it would be the same driver would it not, seemingly a basic funeral will only go from funeral parlour to crem, that family car seems very expensive, for goin 3mile, and i bet it wont bring the family back for the wake, well peed off with the co-op

Really sorry to hear about your mate eileen,but to be honest i think that most funeral `directors` will have your eyes out like vultures do,i have no faith so im quite happy getting put in jars,i wish more people would do the same it might bring the price of funerals down...

[reddevil157]

The undertakers know they have you by the b*ll*cks. They know you'll spend a fortune on your nearest and dearest, to give them a good send off, money is no object. People are starting to wise up tho. Grumbles, your in the driving seat now to rally DK members for cheaper burials, lead the way

[jcgrumbles]

The undertakers know they have you by the b*ll*cks. They know you'll spend a fortune on your nearest and dearest, to give them a good send off, money is no object. People are starting to wise up tho. Grumbles, your in the driving seat now to rally DK members for cheaper burials, lead the way

Well i reckon that we should all donate our bodies to the hospitals,as soon as you stop breathing your slipped into a ziplock bag and your off,your family can still celebrate your life by having a big party,and to top it all off you can leave all your loved ones a personal gift of a body part in a jar.All you have to do is arrange to have the parts your leaving pickled and they can be handed out at the party,the choices are endless,for example your foot would make an ornimental doorstop,or a single testicle would make an ideal paperweight,the list is endless and im sure your family will be delighted with a permanent reminder of you to cherish.I really wanted mrs grumbles to fling her tormented empty soul on my burning pyre but she said `no john,your being far too generous,i`ll make do with your novelty pickled penis in a jar,it will make an ideal rolling pin`...