Humerous Poems

[BobbyX]

Feel free to add your own poems. Just be aware that I am the best.

Beggar.

I beg your pardon,
I beg to differ,
I beg for money,
Will you deliver?
I beg for mercy,
I beg and plead,
I beg for money,
That's what I need.
I beg for salvation,
I beg on my knees,
I beg for money,
Give it to me.

[BobbyX]

Stinky.

I smell, I stink
like shit, I stink, I think
I would need maps
to find my taps
and I won't fit in the sink

You boff, you're off
your odour makes me cough
don't give up hope
please buy some soap
and go and have a wash

[BobbyX]

No Shoes

I went out to buy some shoes,
a man there told me, my life i'ld lose
live or die I had to choose,
that's why I ain't got no shoes.

[BobbyX]

Robber Bob.

I robbed Tamworth stadium.
I robbed it of it's Navy Rum.
Then I gave my baby some
and I blamed her.

Then I robbed Belgrave school.
I thought that I was being cool.
But my baby says that i'm a fool
and I've shamed her

[thered]

mr milkman

my dad drives a van
he is a milkman
my dad sails a boat
he drives a milkfloat
now he's on the dole
no milk in his bowl
all because a supermarket can
sell 4 pinters cheaper than a milkman


ole

[BobbyX]

Betty Boop.

Betty Boop. Cartoon slut.
Remember her?
If I was a cartoon, I'ld fck her
then dismember her.
But not with my He-Man sword -
With my fat cartoon cock.
Betty Boop.
She wants it.
She's gonna get it.
My fat cartoon cock.
My fat cartoony cocky cocky cock cock.
Betty Boop.
My fat cartoon cock.
That's right.

[BobbyX]

What Time Is It?

What time is it?
Depends when you ask.
Is it quarter to
or quarter past.
Is it half past four
or ten past three
Get a watch
then you'll see

[thered]

sheer genius m8 you remind me of the literary greats wordsworth and shakespeare i could bask in your poetry all night long

[BobbyX]

sheer genius m8 you remind me of the literary greats wordsworth and shakespeare i could bask in your poetry all night long

good. recognition. at last.

[BobbyX]

Lost Love

I remember
last december,
Christmas day,
she went away.
It split my life in half
and shook my whole world
but I had the last laugh
as I had her followed and killed

[thered]

was a winter's day
in the month of may
was i gay
i said no way
i saw a man
who had a plan
to get into me
and i let him
what am i now
i once was straight
but now i love my mate
he makes my bait
now ive lost weight
cos i used to be fat

[shady77]

bobbyx and thered.
your words weave splendorous images within my bonce.
I dare not assume to be as craftmanlike as you two and will not try.
Sirs, I remain your faithful servant and greatest fan

[BobbyX]

Shoeless.

Poor little bastard, got the blues
Poor little bugger, got no shoes
Poor little bastard, poor little bugger
Can't find one and lost the other

[Bulld0g]

Shoeless.

Poor little bastard, got the blues
Poor little bugger, got no shoes
Poor little bastard, poor little bugger
Can't find one and lost the other

Absolute class

[shady77]

your poetry, to me, is like an amalgamation of Edward Lear, Roald Dahl and Dr. Suess. Well done sir. Well done indeed