Alcohol Problem

[garry1312]

First of sorry guys not been on have got the wee man since Thursday there until Tuesday so been very busy . Great to have him and at 16 months the coolest guy in the world to hang around with. I am dreading him leaving on Tuesday though, I have been so paranoid that I have made a makeshift bed outside his bedroom door out of quilts incase anything happens during the night or anyone takes him away from me again

Still off the drink and not taking the diazepam anymore be it legally or illegally. I have went out a couple of times for a meal and had a pint but then my second drink has been a cola or something non alcoholic.

My aim would be if possible to continue that way to be able to have a pint if out for a meal just the one and not drink at all at home. Still to seek advice if that is responsible or not though so if I am told I cant have a pint when out for a meal then so be it.

CB is still sadly over with me has told me I have not changed (I believe I have) she believes I wont change. I dont blame her her the amounts of times I have let her down disrespected her etc. It's just hard hearing its over and that someone no longer loves you or even likes you. So it's time for me to give up there because honestly I have tried but she is always going to feel the same way and the only person to blame here is me.

@ garry i have only read page 1 on this thread (sorry not been on for ages). good on you admitting your problem and trying to sort yourself out. i have said things several times on this forum about not drinking and every time i have been slated for it!!! in my opinion if you cannot live your life without drinking nearly every day then you have a problem - end of.

i mentioned last yr when my niece was pregnant, and her other half saying he would give up the drink while she was pregnant hardly lasted a week i got pelters and comments saying why should he etc.

i hardly touch drink now - my choice. mostly money probs as i have a thousand other things to spend it on.

drink is not the b all and end all of life

i so hope you get yourself sorted. yes you know you have apologies to make and i hope to god people forgive you.

getting drunk and not remembering what you did the day before might be fun for others but its no decent way to live your life.

all the best to you and keep me posted.

Yes Lainie I probably owe you a apology as I remember the thread relating to your neices man drinking during pregnancy and I was one of those members that fought alcohols side.

I now realise for many years I have made excuse after excuse for drinking here are just a few examples:

+ Every man is entitled to a drink after his work.
+ It's not that much
+ I have had a stressful day
+ I need it to calm down

I now realise after stopping the behaviour it caused, the damage it was doing to my health.

Now I see my actions in a new light and I dont like the me I look back on all I can do is be a better person in future and alcohol certainly will not be involved.

People will forgive me Lainie but sadly the only person I really want forgiveness from will never forgive me. I have lost her and I will be kicking myself forever.

I'm no expert and there's some brilliant advice on here.

Since this thread is now 11 pages long I thought it was worth quoting the above for anyone who's might have missed it.

@ Garry do this for yourself, you cant change your past but you can change your future, apologise to those you've hurt once your well on your road to recovery. I wish you all the very best. xx

Thanks and yes there has been fantastic advice on DK and I am thankful to everyone that has posted on this thread

[happy_highlander]

First of sorry guys not been on have got the wee man since Thursday there until Tuesday so been very busy . Great to have him and at 16 months the coolest guy in the world to hang around with. I am dreading him leaving on Tuesday though, I have been so paranoid that I have made a makeshift bed outside his bedroom door out of quilts incase anything happens during the night or anyone takes him away from me again

Still off the drink and not taking the diazepam anymore be it legally or illegally. I have went out a couple of times for a meal and had a pint but then my second drink has been a cola or something non alcoholic.

My aim would be if possible to continue that way to be able to have a pint if out for a meal just the one and not drink at all at home. Still to seek advice if that is responsible or not though so if I am told I cant have a pint when out for a meal then so be it.

CB is still sadly over with me has told me I have not changed (I believe I have) she believes I wont change. I dont blame her her the amounts of times I have let her down disrespected her etc. It's just hard hearing its over and that someone no longer loves you or even likes you. So it's time for me to give up there because honestly I have tried but she is always going to feel the same way and the only person to blame here is me.





Yes Lainie I probably owe you a apology as I remember the thread relating to your neices man drinking during pregnancy and I was one of those members that fought alcohols side.

I now realise for many years I have made excuse after excuse for drinking here are just a few examples:

+ Every man is entitled to a drink after his work.
+ It's not that much
+ I have had a stressful day
+ I need it to calm down

I now realise after stopping the behaviour it caused, the damage it was doing to my health.

Now I see my actions in a new light and I dont like the me I look back on all I can do is be a better person in future and alcohol certainly will not be involved.

People will forgive me Lainie but sadly the only person I really want forgiveness from will never forgive me. I have lost her and I will be kicking myself forever.



Thanks and yes there has been fantastic advice on DK and I am thankful to everyone that has posted on this thread

Good to hear you're still fighting a good fight mate, if you feel you can cope with 1 pint during a meal and stop at that then that's the way forward for you. Just don't start making those excuses again for another then another or you'll be back in the same boat. As long as you are controlling the amount and keeping a close eye on yourself you will be fine. But I can see where cb says she doesn't think you'll change. If you have told her you will never drink again and have now started having a pint when out for a meal she isn't going to believe you have changed. She will be thinking it's only a matter of time before he's back on it full time. Now is your chance to prove her wrong, show you are stronger for what has happened and that you can keep a lid on it. Good luck, keep fighting and stay strong, Tuesday is going to be hard day mate don't let it grind you down. You know where I am if you need to talk.

[garry1312]

No its more to do with that mate she does not like me anymore end of :/ I know now with a clear head (which ive not had in years) how much of a prat I have been to her over the years. I dont deserve her sadly im head over heels in love I wish I never drank and my behaviour would have been different.

Just getting ready the now to take the wee man out for his dinner. he has not had his afternoon nap so end up falling asleep on the way there like he done yesterday . So thought id use the time to go home and tidy up his mess ..... woke up at the door .

Ooh and wont be having alcohol with my meal just something soft

[garry1312]

Also mate no longer any excuses any reason I give myself to drink, smoke or take anything is not a reason it is just an excuse I dont need it.

Was right enough wee man is getting tired rubbing his wee eyes. Will still go but think ill find myself eating dinner myself .

[happy_highlander]

That could be a good choice mate that way you won't form another habit, even if it's just a one pint habit, I'm sorry to hear you feel that all is lost with cb, but as long as you can both stay civil for the wee mans sake it'll give him some sort of stability, there's plenty good kids out there mate who's mum and dad don't live together. Only thing you can do is concentrate on what's best for monty, he'll keep you on the straight and narrow cause rest assured visitation rights will be the first to go if you get back into a mess, I'm sure your aware of this and is most likely your driving force to get as far as you have, so well done you

[garry1312]

That could be a good choice mate that way you won't form another habit, even if it's just a one pint habit, I'm sorry to hear you feel that all is lost with cb, but as long as you can both stay civil for the wee mans sake it'll give him some sort of stability, there's plenty good kids out there mate who's mum and dad don't live together. Only thing you can do is concentrate on what's best for monty, he'll keep you on the straight and narrow cause rest assured visitation rights will be the first to go if you get back into a mess, I'm sure your aware of this and is most likely your driving force to get as far as you have, so well done you

Well ive had him for 6 days then after that we will have him 3 and a half days each. Shame we could not work things out because it now holds us both back from careers etc a routine like that but I will be seen my son a equal amount.

Totally focused on him mate and never have I spent this length of time with him due to work and being a dick, but these few days have been the best ever. I appreciate now though also the work a stay at home mum puts in . But loved every minute of it and will always be looking forward to him coming to see me.

Sadly us being civil does not seem to work at the moment but at least we have came to that agreement of 3 and a half days each or equal times with our son.

I cant and dont think I will ever see me forgiving myself for hurting and loosing CB honestly fellow DK members she is one amazing lassie and sadly I have been a selfish ...... and let a woman like that slip.

[cactikid]

keep up the great work you are doing well,i dont think anyone could ask more of you m8

[garry1312]

Thanks mate. Went out last night for dinner with the wee man to a local italian there was a singer there the wee man loved it was dancing and clapping away .

Treated myself to the lobster and monkfish thermidor.

Was a really good night with my wee boy and as usual got compliments on how well behaved he is when he is out.

Was only one thing (person) missing and it was not a pint.

[jordigirl]

am pleased to hear your still doing well garry, do this for you and your son,

cb needs time, you can't just change in a week or 2, so maybe a few months down the line things will look different to her,
at least your still getting to see your son, consentrate on that and keeping off the drink for now, you never know in the future what happens

good luck, keep it up your doing brilliant

[garry1312]

am pleased to hear your still doing well garry, do this for you and your son,

cb needs time, you can't just change in a week or 2, so maybe a few months down the line things will look different to her,
at least your still getting to see your son, consentrate on that and keeping off the drink for now, you never know in the future what happens

good luck, keep it up your doing brilliant

Thanks jg yeah he is very important to me.

I know you cant change like that but you can change your path in life which I am doing.

Thanks for the support

[cgscott]

hows things garry?

[garry1312]

Still off it mate but cant say its easy no one round about me family miles away. My time is made up of 3 and a half days myself and 3 and a half days just me and my son, he is one and a half so hard work but worth every second but got to stay strong for my boy and I will as he means everything to me

[Sensory Deprivation]

Experienced Pro...

Right guys I think it's time for me to admit that I have a alcohol problem.

I drink daily, think about drinking, take drink along with prescription meds.

The taking them with prescription meds (diazepam and zopiclone) leaves me to black out and find myself doing things thats not right and that I would not normally do. Although I can black out on alcohol just on its own but not often with the meds its like every time.

I have now lost CB and she has taken our son.

I want to sort myself out I dont want to be without her, I dont want to be a part time dad and I dont want to do things that disgust me.

I have made a lot of mistakes in my adult life and I now realise that alcohol is always close by to the problem.

Are there any other DK members out there that have had a alcohol problem and came through it? Does anyone have any advice for me?

Sorry for getting serious on you guys but you have always helped me out.

Hi Gary, I have done the exact same thing twice. Meaning 2 marriages, 2 kids, and lots of alcohol. I got to raise one and the other was kidnapped by the ex. I got to raise my son by my self with the gracious help of the bottle! Ever heard of Rumplestillskin? Well a 15 year continuous (almost) drunk made countless regrets. Not for the ex wives, but all of the quality time that I chose to miss out on. You black out just a day and you can never live that day again with your child. I never really considered it until I was at his graduation.
And to the rest here, don't hold this against me as I am a newbie and don't want to stain who I am. But I thought you might have needed to hear this Gary.

[garry1312]

Hi Sensory, thank you for your post mate and may I say welcome to DK

Last night I searched side effects of diazepam and 2 of the side effects mixed with alcohol is black outs and bizzare behaviour. Which explains a lot near the end before everything went to shreds.

Although off it I cant say I personally feel good or like the person I had become.

I am also not eating and drastically loosing weight suppose this goes with not eating . Did anyone else experience this? I have had 2 meals this week one because of a visit from my mum and 2 because she left a steak pie for me and nagged me to eat it . The meal while she was here i ate it all the steak pie i had a quarter of the portion. Did anyone else experience a eating issue once stopping?

If I could turn back the clock I would in a flash but its too late now, which is a shame as I seriously miss my family even though I have my son 3 and a half days a week it is not enough. It is over between me and my partner and although she is clearly over me I cannot get her out of my head even if I try. I wish I had the chance to prove that im not that guy now.

I know my son loves me now but feel as if he is going to grow up and end up hating me for ending his family :/

[happy_highlander]

Your appetite will come back mate it's normal, the professionals forget to tell that bit, it's not just the drink that has removed your desire to eat but the fact that you feel an absolute c**t about what you have done. Give it time and eat little and often. I lost 2 stone then put 3 back on once everything had settled down