An ode to Zaphod.
Its 4am, im loaded with the cold... i knew that mexican selling bacon sandwiches was sketchy... but its bacon, it makes everything taste good.
Anyway, back to the "fluff."
I've noticed that fluff in my button directly correlates with the socks im wearing, now bear with here because ive done my homework.
i set up an elaborate series of tests following the strictest of scientific rigour.
Day 1: white socks. end of the day i had white fluff, sure its a good result but hardly convincing or interesting.
Day 2: Black socks. end of the day oose check provided black fluff.
Day 3: getting tricky, left side blue, right side red. hey its how i roll on wednesdays (i keep ladies undergarments are strictly fridays friday, just after naked thursdays)
Interestingly enough i had purple fluff.
Reasons unknown at this ponint but im formulating some theories.
Day 4: no socks! its naked thursdays afterall and no socks seems a good control test (see! science bitches, rigour maintained i even thought of a control!)
Disturbingly enough at the end of the day i had what i can only term as "dumpster button" the stuff that came out was to be frank, horrifying. i had carpet, dust, dog hair? and even jaggie stuff. not pleasant.
Now, clearly this turn of events provided strange findings, i mean no socks meant i hoovered up the floor, different colors combined to create uberfluff.
I've hypothesised two unique and entirely plausable arguments to suggest as to why this occurs:
1: Ive discovered an entirely new enzyme, this is secreted from the soles of ones feet and actively digests some sock before being reabsorbed and then transported to the belly button where motion causes it to dry and airfluff.
There could be scope for some syndrome whereby due to liver malfunction the body deposits fluff in the mouth or ears instead of the belly belly button, fear not im currently exploring such avenues.
2: theres actualy 34 hours in a day, however the other 10 hours occur in a different dimension inhabited by midgets. these are the same midgets who steal your socks from the washing machine to construct some kind of "odd sock WMD" for 10hrs a day people just freeze whilst these dubious midgets steal socks and for some crazy ritualistic reason deposit fluff in belly buttons as way of penance.
Testing will begin as soon as i can get sufficient quantities of LSD and manage to capture Gary Busey. Surely the only man who's mind could handle such an event being discovered.
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7YjHvhcZL4"]YouTube - Deep Inside The Mind Of Busey[/ame]
Its 4am, im loaded with the cold... i knew that mexican selling bacon sandwiches was sketchy... but its bacon, it makes everything taste good.
Anyway, back to the "fluff."
I've noticed that fluff in my button directly correlates with the socks im wearing, now bear with here because ive done my homework.
i set up an elaborate series of tests following the strictest of scientific rigour.
Day 1: white socks. end of the day i had white fluff, sure its a good result but hardly convincing or interesting.
Day 2: Black socks. end of the day oose check provided black fluff.
Day 3: getting tricky, left side blue, right side red. hey its how i roll on wednesdays (i keep ladies undergarments are strictly fridays friday, just after naked thursdays)
Interestingly enough i had purple fluff.
Reasons unknown at this ponint but im formulating some theories.
Day 4: no socks! its naked thursdays afterall and no socks seems a good control test (see! science bitches, rigour maintained i even thought of a control!)
Disturbingly enough at the end of the day i had what i can only term as "dumpster button" the stuff that came out was to be frank, horrifying. i had carpet, dust, dog hair? and even jaggie stuff. not pleasant.
Now, clearly this turn of events provided strange findings, i mean no socks meant i hoovered up the floor, different colors combined to create uberfluff.
I've hypothesised two unique and entirely plausable arguments to suggest as to why this occurs:
1: Ive discovered an entirely new enzyme, this is secreted from the soles of ones feet and actively digests some sock before being reabsorbed and then transported to the belly button where motion causes it to dry and airfluff.
There could be scope for some syndrome whereby due to liver malfunction the body deposits fluff in the mouth or ears instead of the belly belly button, fear not im currently exploring such avenues.
2: theres actualy 34 hours in a day, however the other 10 hours occur in a different dimension inhabited by midgets. these are the same midgets who steal your socks from the washing machine to construct some kind of "odd sock WMD" for 10hrs a day people just freeze whilst these dubious midgets steal socks and for some crazy ritualistic reason deposit fluff in belly buttons as way of penance.
Testing will begin as soon as i can get sufficient quantities of LSD and manage to capture Gary Busey. Surely the only man who's mind could handle such an event being discovered.
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7YjHvhcZL4"]YouTube - Deep Inside The Mind Of Busey[/ame]
classic.......i always wandered where the fluff come from, i might conduct some tests myself pmsl


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