MEN?S health columns have done a great job at bringing ?embarrassing? problems such as impotence out of the closet.
Trouble is, everyone?s so busy writing about floppy willies that other important diseases affecting the privates don?t get a look in. Until now. Here?s a selection.
PEYRONIE?S DISEASE: This causes a banana-like bend in your old chap. You might also be able to feel a tender, cord-shaped swelling.
The cause is unknown. And it?s not serious ? although, if the bend is severe, it can affect your sex life.
Peyronie?s can improve on its own, given time. If it?s a major problem, surgery can help straighten things out.
COITAL CEPHALGIA: That?s a sex-related headache.
True, blokes usually link headaches to women trying to avoid sex. But some men get a severe headache around orgasm.
What you should do depends on the nature of the heachache.
Say you?ve just had sex and, for the first time ever, suffered a sudden, severe headache with vomiting.
And you happen to be reading this ? unlikely, but it?s healthier than a post-coital fag.
Call an ambulance.
Because you might have burst a blood vessel in your brain. If it happened a few days ago, see your GP asap.
You?ll need a scan to check everything is OK.
But if sex-related headaches are something you?ve had for a while, relax.
They?re likely to be a type of migraine. Have a chat with your GP about possible treatments.
PEARLY PENILE PAPULES: This isn?t a disease at all. But you might think it is.
Because many men who notice these sand grain-sized swellings around their ?bell-end? panic that they?ve got genital warts.
They haven?t. These papules are normal ? loads of men have them.
RETROGRADE EJACULATION: This means that, at climax, your sperm takes a U-turn, diverting into your bladder. So you pass it out next time you have a pee.
The usual cause is prostate surgery. It can be the side-effect of some drugs, too, such as anti-depressants.
BALANITIS XEROTICA OBLITERANS: This is a bit of a mouthful ? call it BXO for short. It?s a thickening of the foreskin.
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The skin gets sore, loses its elasticity and may crack, and rolling it back becomes painful or impossible.
Again, the cause is not known and it?s not serious but it can be a nuisance.
Steroid creams may do the trick. Failing that, it?s circumcision time.
VARICOCELE: Varicose veins in your ball-bag. They cause a ?bag-of-worms? type swelling most noticeable when you stand up.
It?s harmless, though it can occasionally be linked to fertility problems. A small op will cure it if it?s causing trouble.
So there you go. Now you know when to chill out ? or check in with your doc.
Trouble is, everyone?s so busy writing about floppy willies that other important diseases affecting the privates don?t get a look in. Until now. Here?s a selection.
PEYRONIE?S DISEASE: This causes a banana-like bend in your old chap. You might also be able to feel a tender, cord-shaped swelling.
The cause is unknown. And it?s not serious ? although, if the bend is severe, it can affect your sex life.
Peyronie?s can improve on its own, given time. If it?s a major problem, surgery can help straighten things out.
COITAL CEPHALGIA: That?s a sex-related headache.
True, blokes usually link headaches to women trying to avoid sex. But some men get a severe headache around orgasm.
What you should do depends on the nature of the heachache.
Say you?ve just had sex and, for the first time ever, suffered a sudden, severe headache with vomiting.
And you happen to be reading this ? unlikely, but it?s healthier than a post-coital fag.
Call an ambulance.
Because you might have burst a blood vessel in your brain. If it happened a few days ago, see your GP asap.
You?ll need a scan to check everything is OK.
But if sex-related headaches are something you?ve had for a while, relax.
They?re likely to be a type of migraine. Have a chat with your GP about possible treatments.
PEARLY PENILE PAPULES: This isn?t a disease at all. But you might think it is.
Because many men who notice these sand grain-sized swellings around their ?bell-end? panic that they?ve got genital warts.
They haven?t. These papules are normal ? loads of men have them.
RETROGRADE EJACULATION: This means that, at climax, your sperm takes a U-turn, diverting into your bladder. So you pass it out next time you have a pee.
The usual cause is prostate surgery. It can be the side-effect of some drugs, too, such as anti-depressants.
BALANITIS XEROTICA OBLITERANS: This is a bit of a mouthful ? call it BXO for short. It?s a thickening of the foreskin.
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The skin gets sore, loses its elasticity and may crack, and rolling it back becomes painful or impossible.
Again, the cause is not known and it?s not serious but it can be a nuisance.
Steroid creams may do the trick. Failing that, it?s circumcision time.
VARICOCELE: Varicose veins in your ball-bag. They cause a ?bag-of-worms? type swelling most noticeable when you stand up.
It?s harmless, though it can occasionally be linked to fertility problems. A small op will cure it if it?s causing trouble.
So there you go. Now you know when to chill out ? or check in with your doc.
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