bloody madness

[Lainie]

recently ordered a few items from additions direct. had probs with a couple of them but the multi purpose unit (sideboard kinda thing) has been the worse.

1st unit comes in 2 boxes. yes they delivered 2 boxes of parts. unfortunatley the same parts in each so that had to be returned.

2nd unit came and all seemed ok. however the drawer runners were ~~~~ed so another phone call.

now the best bit. they said they need to send out another complete unit and we need to open it and take out the runners. parcel it back up and phone them to arrange an uplift. honest to god thats what they are doing. spoke to them again last night to say surely there must be another way ie can the drawer runners just not be sent etc but no this is what has to be done. bloody mental!!

[Mr Pumpy]

Sorry to hear about the hassle.......
But the moral of your story is....never buy flatpacked furniture from the net.

[chroma]

thread title : BLOODY MADDNESS!
Thread content, slight maddness

Am i the only one dissapointed here? i expected Lainie to go on a psychotic although elloquent rant, instead it was merely a simple missunderstanding.

I for one would be more outraged! your losing your hardened conviction in your auld age. your beginning to dar i say it... MELLOW?

Get on the phone pronto and redeem yourself by kicking up f--k about the environment, "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR SENDING ANOTHER WHOLE UNIT! PUMPING ALL THOSE DIESEL FUMES INTO THE ENVIRONMENT, BURNING OFF ALL THAT PRECIOUS AND INDEED EXPENSIVE OIL! ONLY FOR ME TO HAVE TO INCONVIENIENCE MYSELF SITTING ON MY ARSE AND ENDURING JEREMY KYLE WHICH NO MERE MORTAL SHOULD HAVE TO ENDURE. ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT I NEED NOT WASTE ONE BUT TWO DAYS BECAUSE I NEED TO SEND BACK THE REST OF THE JUNK WHICH WILL TAKE YET ANOTHER GOD DAMNED LORRY LOAD OF OIL TO CARRY BACK TO THE DEPOT???? (pause for a breath here like gordon brown and for additional emphasis) YOU CALL THIS ACCEPTABLE BUSINESS PRACTICE?????????
I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO A GOD DAMNED EDUCATED MANAGER! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(Remember to include plenty of frothing at the mouth on the REEEEEEEE for bonus points)

See? this is how you should be acting, instead youve grown timid by the insanity of the world
youve really come to accept all the crazyness as the norm, repressed all that anger deep down in your soul.

Set it free my love, unleash the insanity back upon them

This public episode was brought to you by the number 7 and the letter f

[Mr Pumpy]

Brilliant chroma

Best to have a lie down now, put your head between your legs and breathe deeply into a brown paper bag.

[Lainie]

i did say how ridiculous it was etc and of course "you cannot be serious" etc. she wasnt amused at me laughing on the phone. if i want the runners its whats gotta happen. one i have the unit complete a letter of complaint will be sent etc

[chroma]

oooh letters of complaint, now theres a plot with some scope

Ive "written" plenty of complaints.
By written i mean "included random things in an envelope, sometimes biologicaly hazardous material"

Cant beat an old used condom stapled to a big bold F--K YOU.
(a footnote personaly appologising to the secratary is always a welcome addition)

(used toilet paper is also known to get a result, polarioids of your cock only gets you harrassed from the secrataries. 3 months of junkmail in a package just confuses, 7 month old lamb chops dont get through the postal service (did you know that lamb turns BLUE after 7 months? the smell is ungodly, the letter was like opening pandoras box and this time hope didnt remain inside, it died from the stench)

Theres so much wierdness in the world that nowadays people take it as the norm, people need to get good and angry and motivated to make it all stop.

Last time i got angry i had 173 employees down tools and sing the Nessun Dorma badly, ok very badly. ok so some people actualy ran from the building, but hey it was fun.
sometimes you gotta fight maddness with even wierder insanity i say.

I've had a NINE HOUR meeting based entirely on "Company Policy and how it overrides Legislation due to Common Industry Practices."
I still maintain that Legislation overrides the lot, the company stll dissagrees.
Even with a well founded argument that "if i owned a chain of nightclubs and i made it "company policy" to dish out cocain over the bars and allow people to take it on the premises" then that would be ok because Company Policy trumps legislation... apparently this outlook is rational...

This nine hour stint brought me to the realisation that the only way to deal with crazy middle management types was to get even more insane. Rational behavior and well founded arguments dont seem to work nearly as well as wiping your ass on company documents whilst laughing maniacly at the onlookers in the boardroom...

Taking off your shoes and biting your toenails also seems to gain you a win in boardroom meetings, as messed up as that sounds. talking to your shoes... not so much, seems too normal i guess.

The best part of all this is, i was once a well balanced individual. i just chose to fight fire with fire (it turns out i was a good arsonist cause my fire can get towering inferno sized)

Yay to getting completely irrational and wierding people out, tis more fun than spending half your life arguing a rational cause. Its also way more fun than any drug ive ever tried