farts

[billy2]

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

[billy2]

Note found on the refrigerator

My Dear Wife:



You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54
years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you
as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will
not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my
18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset I
shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the following
letter on the dining room table.









My Dear Husband:



I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54
years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are
also 54 years old.. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I
would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel
Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis
coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will
understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small
difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

[Novac]

Re #1 Guess that makes you a Poop DJ then !

Re #2 And to make matters worse being a teacher she kept him in till he got it right

[Lainie]

they jokes are older than me

[boothuk]

they jokes are older than me

The iPod is only about 10 years old! Haha.

[Grezzle]

lmao been there done that!

[apd]

The iPod is only about 10 years old! Haha.

It was the walkman instead of the ipod

Its a shit joke anyway

I prefer pirate joke

What do you get when you cross a pirate and a paedophile ?


Arrrgh Kelly


I'm here all week....

[melloned]

Real Ale does it big time for me ! , Had a heavy session on it Monday , Tuesday morning i was like a harrier jump jet on full thrust !

[Lainie]

Real Ale does it big time for me ! , Had a heavy session on it Monday , Tuesday morning i was like a harrier jump jet on full thrust !

tooooooooooooooooooo much information

[.: JaCkPoT :.]

Shouldnt this be in the comedy section?

[caveman_nige]

a pub fart is best done by walking it along the bar area slipstreaming it behind you being sure to finish a good 10 feet before you return to your stool or table etc, can also help for making a space at the bar should you need to be served

[ruudvandan]

It was the walkman instead of the ipod

Its a shit joke anyway

I prefer pirate joke

What do you get when you cross a pirate and a paedophile ?


Arrrgh Kelly


I'm here all week....

me too! I just started a thread for pirate jokes in the Comedy section.

Get yer pirate jokes out me hearty!

[Lainie]

a pub fart is best done by walking it along the bar area slipstreaming it behind you being sure to finish a good 10 feet before you return to your stool or table etc, can also help for making a space at the bar should you need to be served

thats just vile

[Brownload]

Farting when youre full of drink is a dangerous game....if you follow.

[opsmonkey]

There are 7 different types of fart...:

A rip, a rap, a bubble and a squeak, a wet one, a dry one and one that doesn't speak