Relationship woes

[patkins]

Chroma, of all the gin joints and digital sites in all the world you had to pick this one. I`m worried about that game that you are playing-getting practice are we? Anyway, best of luck with Garbo

[^^TommyTee]

I got asked for my number at work yesterday...
By a gay guy...

This had the effect of contracting my sphincter to a diameter that would be difficult to measure even with the help of an electron microscope, and as i stood there never more certain in my life of my sexuality he spoke out.

"It's not for me"

Four simple words that made my ass hole emmit a sound resembling YES! as it started to relax back to sane dimensions and actualy allowed me the use of my legs back.

He was asking on behalf of a coworker who has just returned from maternity and whom also closely resembles a gorilla on steroids. This as it turns out is far more of a quandry than getting asked out by a dood, by any account.

Now camp is as camp does, everyone in work became instantly aware of my situation. When Enistein hypothesised that nothing could travel faster than the speed of light in a vacuum, he'd clearly never been aware of rampant gossiping.
Social retardation does have its downside i guess.

Now there are plenty of attractive young debutaunts that ive been more than flirtatious with here at my humble place of work, and the gorilla has marked her turf. Affording them the position of a hill top general watching the troops getting slaughtered below, sipping cognac in perfect safety.

I see no easy way out here.

I mean the usual approach of "no thank you im soley in love with the cock." wont work here, shes checkmated me by asking a buftie to propose her intent.
I scream homosexuality then it would open me up to getting bummed by her right hand man...
I can only place this down to a side effect of the steroids turning her into a politicaly adept master tactician.
They should teach it at Sandhurst.

It's been made public so if im under scrutiny "no im seeing someone else." Effectively takes me off this seasons roster, effectively benching me, forcing me to merely spectate.

Everyone knows shes just back from maternity and would therefore be more than a little self aware and self concious, calling her a "filthy munter" whilst desperately trying to hold back my gag reflex would paint me in a poor light and might possibly have her running for the PND razors...
I suspect people may take a dim view of this.
It might also result in my arms being brutaly ripped from their sockets and used as implements with which to beat me to death.

Im surrounded by people starved of any intelectual pursuit here who've effectively latched on to the subject, if only to kill the monotony of our existance and stave off the insanity of our daily lives.

And as smart as i am, i can find no easy way out of this, (nor difficult ways) ive ran countless scenarios all day and came up completely and utterly defeated each time. Its like being back in highschool with all its associated bullshit.

Anyone have any ideas?

haha so funny

im same m8 cant be doing with large fems

the amount of bags of flour ive gone through with them

[bigfella]

sorry been awol for a few days playing Assassins Creed 2... stupidly addictive that game, should probably come with some kind of health warning.

Anyway, ive not seen her. i dont know the reasons but have guestimated.

A: Sacked
B: Holidays used up before the reset in feb.
C: Long term sick
D: Quit

Im just hanging around waiting to bring down the hammer.
On a more positive note, i chased a customer for her number
She looked just my flavour of batshit crazy, came in wearing 1930's clothes like Greta Garbo or Mae West, took offence when i enquired as to the getup, stating "this is how i normaly dress." i proposed there on the spot.

Been scambling around a few tailors to get a suit cut and get my Humphrey Bogart on

here s lookin at u kid ......lmao......well we 'll always have ,,,just outside glasgow ...pmsl....play it again chroma

[patkins]

Chroma Chroma, whereforth art thou?

[-Hox-]

batshit crazy brilliant line mate!

[patkins]

Right Chroma, Im outta here.

[patkins]

But just beefore I go tell me, Chroma,vot happened to de beech.

[zaphodbb]

Been scambling around a few tailors to get a suit cut and get my Humphrey Bogart on [/QUOTE]

chroma in a zoot suit lmfao, post pics please i will bite a pencil an wear my pampers

[patkins]

Chroma,you started something in this thread. It drew the sympathy of DKers and all you can do is shun us. Well chroma I`ve just two words to say to you, FINISH IT.

[chroma]

Nothings happened
Frankly the tensions killing me, shes dropped off the face of the earth... possibly through it now that i come to think...

Anyway like i said shes vanished, ive even taken to going into work at insane hours to see if her shifts have changed, but shes never around, ber in mind she cuts a hard figure to simply overlook.

Im now working under the assumpion shes died of botchelism from eating some rancid pizza found wedged under the couch.

Sure enough though, once i put it behind me it'll come crawling out of the woodwork to bite me in the ass.

[patkins]

Phew!! Glad to hear from you again Chroma. I was searching the forums to see if the beech had posted ransom on you. Perhaps she has crawled back up her own ass and anyway,she would be more prominent if she was interested still. Put it all down to experience from which we can all learn.(Gee this Agony aunt thing feels good) Best of luck Chroma. Life`s a beech.