Don't know if this has been posted before, but allways makes me smile.
Dear Mrs. Murry,
>
> Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us,
> unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over
> the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.
>
>
> MEMO
>
>
> Re: Complaints
>
>
> 15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping:
>
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
> carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
> intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tampons
> section.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
> 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
> lay-by.
>
> 6.. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
> shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
> department.
>
> 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to
> cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
> mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
>
> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department asked the
> clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
>
> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
> 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
> 12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his 'Madonna look'
> using different size funnels.
>
> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
> yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
>
> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he
> assumes the foetal position and screams 'NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!
>
> And; last, but not least!
>
> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
> while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here!'
Dear Mrs. Murry,
>
> Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us,
> unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over
> the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.
>
>
> MEMO
>
>
> Re: Complaints
>
>
> 15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping:
>
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
> carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
> intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tampons
> section.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
> 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
> lay-by.
>
> 6.. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
> shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
> department.
>
> 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to
> cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
> mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
>
> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department asked the
> clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
>
> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
> 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
> 12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his 'Madonna look'
> using different size funnels.
>
> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
> yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
>
> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he
> assumes the foetal position and screams 'NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!
>
> And; last, but not least!
>
> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
> while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here!'
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