need further proof?

[hoggy952]

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????..)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???.....)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

[DJSimo]

Here are some more for you:=

# "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

# "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

# "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

# "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

# "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

# "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

# "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

# "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

# "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

# "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

# "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

# "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

# "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

# "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

# "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

# "Battery may explode or leak." -- On a battery.

# "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

# "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

# "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.

# "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

# "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

# "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.

# "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

# "Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."

# "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

# "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

# "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

# "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

# "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.

# "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

# "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

# "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

# "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

# "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

# "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

# "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

# "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.

# "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

# "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

# "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

# "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

# "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

# "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

# "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.

# "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

# "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

# "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

# "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

# "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

# "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

# "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.

# "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

# "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

# "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

# "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

# "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.

# "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

# "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

# "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.

# "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

# "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.

# "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

# "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.

# "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

# "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

# "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

# "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.

# "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.

# "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

# "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.

# "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."

# "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.

# "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

# "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

# "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

# "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

# "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.

# "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.

# "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

# "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.

# "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.

# "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.

# "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.

# "Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions.

[stuckylad]

bet its the same clown that thinks up all of this kind of stuff

[joner77]

Anyone who does any of the above should get the Darwin awards.