consequences

[zaphodbb]

I cant be the only dumbass on dk surely, we all have choices to make everyday of our lives and sometimes we make a wrong call. So let me tell you about mine, a few days ago I was called downstairs because the vothra (septic tank) was really full. As building manager (another name for sucker) its my job to check them. But do I do it, hell no. im basically idol an don?t give a rats ass, so I went had a look and thought it would be a good idea to get someone to switch the pump on while dumbass me peered into it with a torch. Even the most basic cook knows if you switch on a liquidizer full of hot soup with the lid off you have a problem, but my point is we all know in our minds we are doing something really dumbass. but we go ahead and do it anyway, no cigar for guessing, I was covered from head to toe in a tsunami of pish and shite. I cant say it was so bad really it was refreshing in a strange way because its really hot here now and cold pish is not so bad, the taste wasn?t so bad either as I have had mythos greek beer now and then if its free, only difference is the beer is a bit colder. The most disturbing thing was when I went home my girlfriend said I smelled almost the same as usual only a tat stronger hmmm. And heres me thinking when I go to a bar they give me lots of space because they think im a bad ass. So the thread is what have you done that you knew would exactly go nips up when you did it, help an old pt out here I need a laugh

[maca]

never mind zap m8 your safe in the knowledge that gmb is full of more shite than you'll ever be

[Meat-Head]

SUSSPOES a shower is better than a bath.

next time just get someone to empty it every year, yuck,

[jasbo7]

Your right Zap, we do funny things in the heat of the moment....I remember when my time was just out and the gaffer had me and this other guy knocking a 12'' brass bush out of this tube...we took it in turn to wallop this podger onto the bush with a 14 pound hammer while the other was holding the podger...mmmmmm....anyway you know that you should stay the other side of the swing just incase of a slip....well....we were starting to get tired and it was my turn to swing and my mate went wrong side....and....slip.....wallop....nae teef left...never swung a hammer again...can laugh at it now though.

[patkins]

Zaph, if it was raining soup I`d be standing outside with a fork in my hand.
Typical example; I logged on to DK after midnight on Saturday night to discover Devilfishes 3 hour free for all had just ended. DOH.
But my sillier moment was`nt a pile of SH*T like yours. No, I decided one hot summers night last year to replace that leaking tap in the garden while the water was still on. I could`nt be arsed to remove the fine collection of the missus`s cleaning products from under the sink inside to turn off water.(I swear that woman must be related to chemical Alli)Loosened old tap ,was temporarily left gasping for breath as the water engulfed me,stood there in panic until I ran in and turned on sink tap to relieve the pressure. Job done and chemical Alli`s relative ling out the window at me.
P.S. I used to think you were the sort of guy who would take SHI*E from nobody.

[Canker_Canison]

I'll have to rack my brain for one of the many dumb-ass things I've done. But I'll give you one from a friend.

Neil had been suffering from the liquid sit down all day. He'd had a few close calls ta boot. Later in the day he was feeling better & sat down to eat for the first time. Angie (his wife) isn't known for her cooking skills. One year Neil actually hid her christmas presents in the cooker.
After this gourmet meal he sat back & his mind switch to practical joke mode. Feeling the time was right, he stood up, dropped his kegs....& farted in Angie's face.
Only it wasn't a fart. In his haste he had completely forgot his previous condition. Luckily his underwear acted as a sieve so no lumps were fired & a friendly-fire incident was avoided.

They are still married & he's only shit himself twice since that incident.

Names have not been changed, because it's more fun thinking he might find this one day.

[patkins]

Canker- that`s a classic-the bit about the cooker. LOL

[Canker_Canison]

We couldn't believe it when he told us. After voicing concerns over the risk of them being cooked, his reply was...

"no ~~~~ing chance, she doesn't even know how to turn it on. The only chance of anything going wrong was if she mistook the cooker for the washing machine or dishwasher"


It would appear stupid acts run in his family. While camping his brother performed the strangest sexual act I've ever heard of.
One for the imagination I think...

Dry stone wall... cock sized hole in dry stone wall... sheeps wool .........

[zaphodbb]

just as a postscript to my first post i forgot to mention there was an old lady from the top floor stood next to me at the time, she was nearly washed away with the tidal wave of pish an shite. so being a gent i picked her screaming kicking old ass out of the mire and promptly removed my shite stained teeshirt to wipe her face. as this was awash wi shite etc it only made matters worse and she got very angry with me and at one point tried to knee me in the nads, fortunately she has bad hips so this gave me time to do a quick (well quickish) body swerve an aviod her varacous bony knee, at this point her children arrived and i thought i was in for it but they just pished themselfs laughing.

[korn00129]

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