I'm trying to put together a pre-nup agreement for a mate of mine who's getting married soon. This is the bones of it but any additional input would be appreciated.
Any other funny suggestions??
- I shall not gain any significant amount of weight. Acceptable variation is +/- 5 lbs, excluding any periods of pregnancy (after which original parameters shall be returned to within a period of three months). I shall on no account exceed a size 14.
- I shall not make any sudden or radical changes such as cutting off all my hair. I shall continue to wear make-up to perpetuate the fraud which I used to entice you into our relationship in the first place.
- I accept that headaches are normal and are to be dealt with using simple over-the-counter medication, promptly and without complaint.
- I shall not complain about your friends, hobbies or interests. They are part of the package.
- I shall not remember in exacting detail every single bloody mistake or error you ever make and then list them all at each and every bastard opportunity.
- I shall not leave the kitchen unless it is to enter the bedroom.
- My Mother will only visit at such times as there are no significant sporting events taking place
Any other funny suggestions??
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