the years best headlines

[zaphodbb]

THE YEAR ' S BEST (actual) HEADLINES

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
...........

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

No, really?
..........

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!
............

Panda Mating Fails;

Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!
........................

Miners Refuse to Work

after Death

Those good-for-nothing ' lazy so-and-sos!
.........................

Juvenile Court to Try

Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!
.............................

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!
.............................

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?!
....................................

Cold Wave Linked to

Temperatures

Who would have thought!
........................

Enfield Couple Slain;

Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!
...............................

Man Struck By Lightning:

Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!
...................................

New Study of Obesity Looks for

Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!
..............................

Astronaut Takes Blame for

Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!
..................................

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?
.................................

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
...........................

Hospitals are Sued by

7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!
..............................

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through

Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

[firemouth]

aint got one for this year, not much of a paper man!
but my top headline of all time, came from the SUN back page.
"ESSEX GIRLS DO COME FIRST". after Sally Gunnel, won her gold medal in the hurdles. cant even remember the year. it seems the Guardian also used it in a media supplement, cant find a link to either though.

nice list though! Marvin would have been proud!!

[Krypton]

again not from this year, but this one from the sun after caledonian thistle beat celtic.
Super Cali Go Ballistic. Celtic Are Atrocious!