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Man-boobs ... ops to reduce moobs are up 80%
BLOKES love boobs. In fact, many men would say that boobs are one - or two - of their favourite things. Until, that is, they start growing their own. Then it's suddenly a storm in a D-cup. Or worse.
Because you might not just whinge and whine about your man-boobs.
You might decide to take things further - after all, there are only so many times you can put up with comments like: "You're in the wrong changing room, mate".
Which maybe explains why, according to headlines this week, moob ops for men have shot up by 80 per cent in the past year.
Bloke-zookas are sometimes more than just an embarrassment, though. Very rarely, they're a sign of disease.
Here's a guide to what causes them, what to do about them - and when to get your t*ts out for the doc.
BEING OVERWEIGHT
Blokes really do have breasts. Nothing that would have you mistaken for Jordan, admittedly. But there's a little bit of genuine boob just where you'd expect it, under each nipple.
If something's up, it'll swell - and you will be able to feel it, if you pinch your pecs, as a firm "disc". Often, though, man "breasts" are actually just fat: You won't be able to feel any firm tissue, just lard.
Clues are that both sides are affected equally and they wobble when you run - which isn't often, because you suffer many bellies, too.
The cure is simple: Slim. Only consider surgery if you've tried that and you really want those assets stripped.
AGE
Your breast tissue tends to swell - known in the trade as gynaecomastia - any time your hormones are up the spout.
That includes both extremes of age - baby boys because of the influence of mum's hormones and old boys because their testosterone levels are flagging.
This is normal and harmless. It's common in adolescents, too - about half of 14-year-old lads fear they're about to appear on Page 3.
Relax, guys - your chest is likely to deflate given time. It's caused by the same hormone turmoil that's making your voice squeak.
MEDICATION
A variety of pills can upset your hormone balance enough to fill those jugs.
Possible culprits include heart treatments, prostate pills and water tablets. Check the pill leaflet or ask your pharmacist or GP.
DRUG ABUSE
Bodybuilders who use steroids may find they're building up more than they bargained for.
The same may apply to cannabis users - though a link between marijuana and man-melons remains controversial.
SERIOUS ILLNESS
Very rarely, those moobs are just two tips of a disease iceberg.
Liver problems, kidney failure and an overactive thyroid can all be causes.
So if you're feeling ill as well as swollen, see your doctor.
CANCER
Thankfully, the Big Breast "C" is rare in men. Clues are that you're probably over 50 and you've noticed a recent and increasing hard swelling in just one breast.
No prizes for guessing that you should make an appointment - one reason for the grim outlook for male breast cancer is blokes not seeking help soon enough.
So now you know whether those hooters should actually be ringing alarm bells. And if your other half buys you a bra - remember, she's just jealous.
Man-boobs ... ops to reduce moobs are up 80%Because you might not just whinge and whine about your man-boobs.
You might decide to take things further - after all, there are only so many times you can put up with comments like: "You're in the wrong changing room, mate".
Which maybe explains why, according to headlines this week, moob ops for men have shot up by 80 per cent in the past year.
Bloke-zookas are sometimes more than just an embarrassment, though. Very rarely, they're a sign of disease.
Here's a guide to what causes them, what to do about them - and when to get your t*ts out for the doc.
BEING OVERWEIGHT
Blokes really do have breasts. Nothing that would have you mistaken for Jordan, admittedly. But there's a little bit of genuine boob just where you'd expect it, under each nipple.
If something's up, it'll swell - and you will be able to feel it, if you pinch your pecs, as a firm "disc". Often, though, man "breasts" are actually just fat: You won't be able to feel any firm tissue, just lard.
Clues are that both sides are affected equally and they wobble when you run - which isn't often, because you suffer many bellies, too.
The cure is simple: Slim. Only consider surgery if you've tried that and you really want those assets stripped.
AGE
Your breast tissue tends to swell - known in the trade as gynaecomastia - any time your hormones are up the spout.
That includes both extremes of age - baby boys because of the influence of mum's hormones and old boys because their testosterone levels are flagging.
This is normal and harmless. It's common in adolescents, too - about half of 14-year-old lads fear they're about to appear on Page 3.
Relax, guys - your chest is likely to deflate given time. It's caused by the same hormone turmoil that's making your voice squeak.
MEDICATION
A variety of pills can upset your hormone balance enough to fill those jugs.
Possible culprits include heart treatments, prostate pills and water tablets. Check the pill leaflet or ask your pharmacist or GP.
DRUG ABUSE
Bodybuilders who use steroids may find they're building up more than they bargained for.
The same may apply to cannabis users - though a link between marijuana and man-melons remains controversial.
SERIOUS ILLNESS
Very rarely, those moobs are just two tips of a disease iceberg.
Liver problems, kidney failure and an overactive thyroid can all be causes.
So if you're feeling ill as well as swollen, see your doctor.
CANCER
Thankfully, the Big Breast "C" is rare in men. Clues are that you're probably over 50 and you've noticed a recent and increasing hard swelling in just one breast.
No prizes for guessing that you should make an appointment - one reason for the grim outlook for male breast cancer is blokes not seeking help soon enough.
So now you know whether those hooters should actually be ringing alarm bells. And if your other half buys you a bra - remember, she's just jealous.
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