Unravelled, the loo roll that doesn't need to be torn open

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  • gmb45
    Admin Assistant
    • Nov 2008
    • 7538

    #1

    Unravelled, the loo roll that doesn't need to be torn open

    ~~~~~~ ?3,000,000 to find out they they using to much glue


    Some claim to come up with their best ideas in the bathroom.

    But there is one lavatorial conundrum that has long perplexed even the most philosophical visitor to the facilities: how do you get a new loo roll to unravel without having to rip the first few sheets to shreds?

    Fortunately, while scientists have been occupied with putting men on the moon and decoding the human genome, supermarket technologists may have found the answer.


    'Alleviates stress': Asda's new loo roll featuring 'easy start roll technology'




    After spending more than ?3million studying the science of loo rolls, Asda has unveiled a modified toilet paper design ? featuring ?easy start roll technology?.

    The supermarket claims it has developed a ?bespoke engineering solution? which decants precisely the right quantity of glue on to each roll, allowing ?an easy tear and start?.

    Traditionally, toilet roll is bound and glued so tightly that it is impossible to free the first sheet without having to tear through it.

    An Asda spokesman said: ?If the roll is sealed in a conventional way there is usually too much glue and this sometimes causes the first few sheets to tear and shred.

    ?This leads to frustrated and disappointed shoppers, not to mention a large amount of waste.

    ?However our Asda Shades Best Ever loo roll is the first toilet tissue on the market to provide easy start roll technology.

    ?Our product managers have actively developed a new technology that alleviates this stress for loo users, and ultimately reduces waste.

    The technology we use is a bespoke engineering solution which allows the amount of glue to be staggered.

    ?Therefore, each roll has the optimum amount, allowing an easy tear and start to the roll. Basically, the machine controls the amount of glue applied so it isn?t stuck firmly.?

    Amy Greenhow, development technologist at Asda, said: ?We are very proud. We have listened to shoppers and provided a range of products that gives customers exactly what they want.

    ?Bringing the easy start roll technology to our shoppers is a big deal for this market. ?It could be suggested that our competitors are offering shoppers a bum deal by not providing a solution to this problem.?

    Phil Wilkinson, marketing manager for paper at Asda, added: ? There has been over ?3million invested in the development of the Asda Shades range.
    ?Easy start roll technology is only one of several product developments that we are providing for our shoppers.?

    Other items in the Asda Shades line, produced as a result of the supermarket?s research, include a loo roll with an odour-neutralising cardboard core.

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  • Meat-Head
    V.I.P. Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 32000

    #2
    Originally posted by gmb45
    the first sheet rips
    ?This leads to frustrated and disappointed shoppers,

    More concered about getting out the crappa and back to computer, not bothered about that, still useable!

    sigpicWas Banned For Being Certifiably Insane and Stupid

    Comment

    • Canker_Canison
      V.I.P. Member
      • May 2010
      • 3905

      #3
      Have Asda just hired someone who worked in the Apple marketing & PR office?

      Talk about a solution to a problem that doesn't exsist. Never had a problem myself, & my arse doesn't know the difference. Hell, I could use low grade sandpaper after a chili & not know the difference

      The added bonus of sandpaper is that it comes in sheets & there's no chance of your finger breaking through
      Canker

      "Animal, vegetable or mineral... I'll do anything, to anything, with anything"
      - The Baby Eating Bishop of Bath & Wells
      [COLOR=Green]

      Comment

      • dik
        DK Veteran
        • Apr 2009
        • 955

        #4
        Anyone remember that izal stuff that they made us use at school, so shiny it slid up your back and so weak that your fingers poked through, it was as absorbant as grease proof paper, now that's when bog roll was a problem!

        Here is a picture of the new improved version they brought out in 1973
        sigpic another happy customer

        Sent from my keyboard using fingers to type

        Comment

        • Meat-Head
          V.I.P. Member
          • Oct 2009
          • 32000

          #5
          Originally posted by dik
          Anyone remember that izal stuff that they made us use at school, so shiny it slid up your back and so weak that your fingers
          Thought that was 'Jonn Wayne Bog Roll' Rough, tough and takes no shit from nobody

          sigpicWas Banned For Being Certifiably Insane and Stupid

          Comment

          • barrowmanandrew
            V.I.P. Member
            • Nov 2009
            • 3427

            #6
            Originally posted by Meat-Head
            More concered about getting out the crappa and back to computer, not bothered about that, still useable!
            it's a fantastic invention for you meathead!!!
            you will be able to open your bogroll with one hand, and stay on dk using your i-phone with your other hand....

            Comment

            • dik
              DK Veteran
              • Apr 2009
              • 955

              #7
              Originally posted by barrowmanandrew
              it's a fantastic invention for you meathead!!!
              you will be able to open your bogroll with one hand, and stay on dk using your i-phone with your other hand....
              Meaty with an I-phone don't think so, more likely an eye phone
              sigpic another happy customer

              Sent from my keyboard using fingers to type

              Comment

              • Cronus
                Banned
                • Dec 2009
                • 692

                #8
                Originally posted by Meat-Head
                More concered about getting out the crappa and back to computer
                Not a problem for me mate...

                Comment

                • Meat-Head
                  V.I.P. Member
                  • Oct 2009
                  • 32000

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Cronus
                  Not a problem for me mate...
                  Do you work as a tester in a laxative factory?

                  sigpicWas Banned For Being Certifiably Insane and Stupid

                  Comment

                  • Cronus
                    Banned
                    • Dec 2009
                    • 692

                    #10
                    Yeah mate and I was late for work this morning

                    Last edited by Cronus; 14 July, 2010, 22:18. Reason: miserable imageshack banned the image!

                    Comment

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