Shopping centre bosses approve 'Asian squat toilets...'

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  • gmb45
    Admin Assistant
    • Nov 2008
    • 7538

    #1

    Shopping centre bosses approve 'Asian squat toilets...'

    ...following cultural awareness course

    ~~~~~~



    Different: A squat toilet, also known as a Nile Pan, like the ones which are being installed at the shopping centre



    For centuries, the great British loo has been a matter of envy to the rest of the world.
    Thanks to the efforts of pioneers like the legendary Thomas Crapper, we have long since led the world in comfort and hygiene.

    Now, however, that could be about to change.

    For most of us, the squat toilet is nothing more than a staple of horror stories about old-fashioned French service stations or the exploits of adventurous backpackers in far-flung parts of India.

    But this basic form of plumbing, also known as a Turkish toilet or Nile pan, could be coming to a shopping centre near you - and all in the name of cultural sensitivity.

    From next week, shoppers in Rochdale who push open the cubicle door expecting the reassuring sight of a modern, clean lavatory could instead be faced with little more than a hole in the ground.

    Bosses of the Greater Manchester town's Exchange mall have installed two as part of an upgrade costing several thousand pounds after attending a cultural awareness course run by a local Muslim community activist.
    A familiar sight in parts of the Middle East, and still sometimes seen in France and Italy, the toilets require users to squat above them, rather than sitting.
    With one in ten of Rochdale's population of Pakistani or Bangladeshi origin, centre managers say they have been told some members of the local Asian community prefer them for cultural reasons.

    Aware: Staff at the Rochdale Exchange were sent on a course and opted to have the squat toilets installed


    The town hit the headlines during this year's General Election campaign when pensioner Gillian Duffy was dismissed by Gordon Brown as a 'bigoted woman' when she voiced concern about immigration.

    News of the introduction of squat toilets was met by disbelief, however.

    'This strikes me as a classic case of excessive pandering to a politically correct minority,' said Philip Davies, Conservative MP for Shipley.

    'We in Britain are rightly proud of our toilets, and the onus is on people who come to this country to appreciate them for what they are.
    'It's absolutely ludicrous - Thomas Crapper would be turning in his grave!'
    The Exchange shopping centre is in the process of refurbishing its ladies' and gents' toilets, and the changes were made after managers went on a cultural training course.

    Proud Rochdalian: Ghulam Rasul Shahzad runs courses on cultural understanding and community cohesion




    It was hosted by Ghulam Rasul Shahzad, a retired Rochdale Council training officer who runs courses for the groups including the police on cultural understanding and community cohesion.

    A former Labour council candidate, Mr Shahzad received the OBE from the Queen last month for his services to the community and social housing.

    He was last year given a Community Crimefighter Award by the then Prime Minister, Mr Brown.

    Mr Shahzad took shopping centre manager Lorenzo O'Reilly and his team on a tour around Rochdale's Central Mosque, including a look at its toilets, as part of the course.

    'The management at the centre were very committed to improving the service they offered to the community and were very responsive,' he said.

    'We always work together to understand each other from both sides and find a balance.

    'That is the beauty of Rochdale. That is why I am proud to be a Rochdalian.'

    A spokeswoman for the centre said: 'We regularly receive cultural awareness training from Ghulam and when we were planning the toilets this was something that cropped up.'

    As a result, when the facilities reopen next Monday, both the ladies' and gents' will have a cubicle containing a squat toilet.

    Turkish or squat toilets are favoured over flush toilets in many parts of Asia as they don't require expensive modern plumbing systems.
    Proponents of what some campaigners call the natural posture toilet claim there are health benefits to squatting, rather than sitting.

    Canterbury Prison recently installed one for foreign inmates as part of a ?17,000 upgrade.
    But they are regarded as unhygienic and backward in many parts of the world - infamously, a controversial sculpture briefly displayed at EU offices in Brussels last year lampooning member states depicted Bulgaria as a squat toilet.

    Mike Bone, of the British Toilet Association, warned the washing facilities associated with squat toilets could pose a hygiene hazard.

    'We really don't see a need for them,' he said.

    'Space for public toilets in places like shopping centres is already at a premium, and if this is meant to cater for Muslims we would point out that the vast majority use normal toilets in their own homes.'
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Shopping centre management install Asian 'stand-up' toilets following cultural awareness course | Mail Online
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  • Meat-Head
    V.I.P. Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 32000

    #2
    well that makes that bloke, just like his shopping centre doing that, a shit hole.

    the places is going to stink of shite and people

    sigpicWas Banned For Being Certifiably Insane and Stupid

    Comment

    • barrowmanandrew
      V.I.P. Member
      • Nov 2009
      • 3427

      #3
      for ~~~~ sake, does it ever end????
      why don't we just go the full hog ,
      swop our cars for rickshaws,
      or take our children out of school and force them to work 23hrs a day in a stinkin factory.
      in fact why dont we just rip our plumbing out, we could wash, drink and bath in the same filthy water, that'll be progress...

      Comment

      • Cronus
        Banned
        • Dec 2009
        • 692

        #4
        What happens if you've had a dodgy curry the night before? You know one of them when you have a shit the next morning and your arse explodes.

        No way is that gonna hit the target...it'll be everywhere.

        Comment

        • barrowmanandrew
          V.I.P. Member
          • Nov 2009
          • 3427

          #5
          just noticed,
          no where to put yer hole roll
          no cistern to take your lines off...

          Comment

          • Bulld0g
            V.I.P. Member
            • Apr 2008
            • 7158

            #6
            How could you read the paper and have a tom tit squatting over that

            THE TRUTH
            The Hillsborough Independent Panel. 12/09/12

            Today's report is black and white.The Liverpool fans were not the cause of the disaster.
            The panel has quite simply found 'no evidence' in support of allegations of 'exceptional levels of drunkenness, ticketlessness or violence among Liverpool fans' and 'no evidence that fans had conspired to arrive late at the stadium' and 'no evidence that they stole from the dead and dying'.

            Comment

            • cgscott
              V.I.P. Member
              • Jul 2008
              • 3513

              #7
              Country becoming a Joke. If they think squatting over a hole in the ground is culture then there is something wrong.

              Only time i a tom kite in a hole was in the woods when i was in the forces.
              sigpic


              Patience is a virtue.

              Comment

              • Cronus
                Banned
                • Dec 2009
                • 692

                #8
                Here are the instructions on how to use one:

                Proceed as follows:
                Most stalls do not have toilet paper. This is the best time to realize this. Either take paper from the general dispenser in the bathroom area or preferably bring your own as it will be made of tissue and not plywood carpaccio.

                Approach the squat toilet apprehensively and make sure it's not covered in stool. If it is covered in stool, choose another stall. If another stall is not available, accept the cards that have been dealt you. This is a good time to come up with a title for your experience such as My Great B.M. Adventure or Disgusticon One.

                Close the door to the stall, knowing full well the handle has more germs on it than the entire population of Botswana.
                Place your feet on the appropriate foot grids, assuming they are not covered in stool. If they are covered in stool, place your feet on the least fouled space you can find, being careful to maintain balance.
                Unfasten and drop your trousers and underpants, making sure that they do not make contact with the urine and stool covered surface area.
                Grimace and ask yourself if a country with such a toilet can or should ever be a superpower.
                Assume a squatting position like a competitive ski jumper. Stick your ass out like a whore in a 50 Cent video. This is a good time to pretend you're not a miserable tourist with your pants around your ankles, squatting over a barbaric poo hole.
                Use your right hand to prevent the soiling of your trousers and underpants by holding them off the ground and pushing them forward, away from any Danger Zone. This is perhaps the best time ever to be a kilt-wearing Scotsman.
                In your left hand should be the assortment of paper/wipes/anti-bacterial sheets you intend to use after you are finished with your production.
                You would think you would want your left hand to brace your squatting self against the stall wall. However, the stall wall is covered in nose nuggets and as such is not touchable. At any rate, if you have a penis you will need your left hand for guidance anyway.

                For the penised: Use your left hand to aim it away from your trousers and underpants. Point it backwards between your legs - as if it were a rocket engine designed to propel you far away from this alien hellhole. At the same time be sure not to drop any of the objects in your left hand as they will be rendered horribly irretrievable should you do so.
                If you do not have a penis, use the left arm to balance yourself - waving it around wildly rather than touching the snot covered stall wall or filthy support bars (if any).
                If you are able to maintain balance for several seconds, you are ready to begin bowel evacuation. At this point the bulk of your focus should be towards the quick evacuation of your bowels without soiling your clothing, missing your mark or - God forbid - losing your balance and falling.
                For aiming purposes keep your head tucked between your legs - like a bombardier on a very unpleasant mission assigned by General Squalor.
                If your aim is true you will have the pleasure of watching poo (yours) drop down a deep, dark hole to a resounding ploot. If it's not true, you will have the pleasure of watching poo (yours) come to rest on the floor between your legs.

                After you have completed your bowel evacuation, DO NOT STAND UP. Remain squatting and miserable.
                Continue using your right hand to prevent contact of your trousers/underpants with urine/stool. Place your tissues and wipes in your left hand on top of your underwear/trousers and select the items you need for wiping.
                Wipe and curse culture simultaneously, all the while maintaining the squatting position.
                Do not drop soiled tissues. That would be too easy. Sadly, the 16th century plumbing can only handle poo. Soiled tissues are to be placed in the bin behind you. Without leaving the squat position, twist your body in order to see the bin and make a good throw. Don't worry if you miss, as it's obvious from the poo-sheet pile on the floor that even the squat-tastic natives are no Michael Jordans.
                Once sufficiently wiped, humiliated and traumatized, you may stand and re-underpant and re-trouser yourself. This is a good time to reflect on your life and also a good time to try blacking out these last ten minutes - like a freshly-sodomized felon might do.
                The filth-covered flush button is behind you and may or may not work.
                Open the door to the stall, again knowing the handle has more germs on it than a decade of scrapings from Paris Hilton's tongue.
                Exit the stall and never, ever, ever get yourself into a situation where you have to do that again. But first, wash your hands until they bleed.
                Last edited by Cronus; 15 July, 2010, 13:13.

                Comment

                • Bulld0g
                  V.I.P. Member
                  • Apr 2008
                  • 7158

                  #9
                  Classic 100% instructions ther m8

                  THE TRUTH
                  The Hillsborough Independent Panel. 12/09/12

                  Today's report is black and white.The Liverpool fans were not the cause of the disaster.
                  The panel has quite simply found 'no evidence' in support of allegations of 'exceptional levels of drunkenness, ticketlessness or violence among Liverpool fans' and 'no evidence that fans had conspired to arrive late at the stadium' and 'no evidence that they stole from the dead and dying'.

                  Comment

                  • Canker_Canison
                    V.I.P. Member
                    • May 2010
                    • 3905

                    #10
                    With one in ten of Rochdale's population of Pakistani or Bangladeshi origin, centre managers say they have been told some members of the local Asian community prefer them for cultural reasons.
                    Let me try to look at this with logic.... errmmm.......... I'm trying....... ok I think I've got it..

                    10% of the population are of asian descent. 'Some' of that 10% want to use a filthy hole in the floor to remind them of their ancestral squalor. Given that it's impossible for the full 10% to be imigrants we can cut the actual figure down to 2% that actually know how the hole in the floor is used. Of that 2% only a minority what to force the rest for us back down the evolutionary ladder.

                    Final breakdown..... 14 people mentioned it in passing as they left the mosque.

                    I'm going to visit this area void of common sense with 30 people. We will be complaining that we can't do 150mph through the town because of the pedestrians. As fully paid up drivers (tax, insurance, MOT) we have the right to drive on roads without the interference of people, traffic lights & speed limits.

                    It won't last long. As soon as the Management realise they will have to employ someone to hose down the area every 3 minutes. Mainly due to chavs & kids pebble dashing the whole cubical & posting the video on youtube. They'll fit a nice new clean porcelain throne.


                    On another line, that Shahzad network operative git looks very smug on the pic. Smug with an underlying hint of evil intent.
                    Last edited by Canker_Canison; 16 July, 2010, 14:32.
                    Canker

                    "Animal, vegetable or mineral... I'll do anything, to anything, with anything"
                    - The Baby Eating Bishop of Bath & Wells
                    [COLOR=Green]

                    Comment

                    • jencra
                      Newbie
                      • Jul 2010
                      • 1

                      #11
                      ridiculous

                      Comment

                      • maca
                        Mr. DK DJ
                        • Feb 2009
                        • 6310

                        #12
                        it looks like a ~~~~in big key hole

                        Comment

                        • Meat-Head
                          V.I.P. Member
                          • Oct 2009
                          • 32000

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Canker_Canison

                          It won't last long. As soon as the Management realise they will have to employ someone to hose down the area every 3 minutes. Mainly due to chavs & kids pebble dashing the whole cubical & posting the video on youtube. They'll fit a nice new clean porcelain throne.

                          Sorry just need a little help from think it was http://www.digital-kaos.co.uk/forums...-pat-kinsella/

                          the famous rock star that went around blowing up toilets???

                          If he wasn't dead, he would be ideal to test the shitters

                          sigpicWas Banned For Being Certifiably Insane and Stupid

                          Comment

                          • manxspud
                            DK Veteran
                            • Jul 2009
                            • 1768

                            #14
                            can not believe the health and safety people are not up in arms about this ....

                            On the other side of the coin ... how many call outs from the fire brigade to remove fat tw@ts like me who got down but can not get up again ... do you think it will take before they decide to fill em in or use them as fish ponds.

                            Comment

                            • Meat-Head
                              V.I.P. Member
                              • Oct 2009
                              • 32000

                              #15
                              Originally posted by manxspud
                              can not believe the health and safety people are not up in arms about this ....
                              Good point, so as long as there is a wheel chair ramp there, does it matter????

                              So what about one of these crappers for the disabled?
                              it would be discrimnation to give them a normal crapper!

                              sigpicWas Banned For Being Certifiably Insane and Stupid

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