Scouser Jokes

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  • aftermath
    V.I.P. Member
    • Mar 2008
    • 4345

    #46
    TV's, mobile phones, mp3 players, children's virginity....

    ...The only thing that Scousers can't take is a joke.

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    • aftermath
      V.I.P. Member
      • Mar 2008
      • 4345

      #47

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      • aftermath
        V.I.P. Member
        • Mar 2008
        • 4345

        #48

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        • aftermath
          V.I.P. Member
          • Mar 2008
          • 4345

          #49

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          • aftermath
            V.I.P. Member
            • Mar 2008
            • 4345

            #50

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            • aftermath
              V.I.P. Member
              • Mar 2008
              • 4345

              #51
              I got a scouser a plunger for Christmas.

              He really enjoys bringing up old shit.

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              • aftermath
                V.I.P. Member
                • Mar 2008
                • 4345

                #52
                I was struggling for the words to ask a girl out on a date.

                "I'm sorry," I said, "English is difficult for me. It's my second language."

                "Awwww," she smiled. "Can I ask where you are from?"

                "Liverpool," I replied.

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                • aftermath
                  V.I.P. Member
                  • Mar 2008
                  • 4345

                  #53
                  Security concerns have been raised following reports that the perimeter fencing at Knowsley Safari Park is falling into disrepair and there are no funds available to replace it.
                  When asked about the consequences of a lion escaping and wandering around Merseyside, a park spokesman said:
                  "Well, it would just have to try and defend itself the best it could."

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                  • aftermath
                    V.I.P. Member
                    • Mar 2008
                    • 4345

                    #54
                    The government have announced that anyone who has bought any lumps of useless Irish meat is entitled to a full refund.

                    Because of this, Liverpool have asked Spurs for their money back!

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                    • aftermath
                      V.I.P. Member
                      • Mar 2008
                      • 4345

                      #55
                      I phoned my boss to pull a sickie this morning. I had to put on a voice though, to make it sound like I was genuinely unfit for work.

                      So I used a scouse accent.

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                      • aftermath
                        V.I.P. Member
                        • Mar 2008
                        • 4345

                        #56
                        Jamie Carragher: "If I knew Liverpool would be in the title race I wouldn't have retired" well, If I'd known man was going to land on the moon, I would have tried harder at school and become an astronaut

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                        • aftermath
                          V.I.P. Member
                          • Mar 2008
                          • 4345

                          #57

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                          • aftermath
                            V.I.P. Member
                            • Mar 2008
                            • 4345

                            #58
                            BBC NEWS: Man arrested for letting children live in filth.

                            Or as the locals call it, Merseyside.

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                            • aftermath
                              V.I.P. Member
                              • Mar 2008
                              • 4345

                              #59
                              I'm a mad Liverpool supporter and believe in the message "You will never walk alone"

                              I believe in this because if you walk alone in Liverpool you will get stabbed and robbed.

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                              • aftermath
                                V.I.P. Member
                                • Mar 2008
                                • 4345

                                #60
                                A Liverpool fan walks past a shop and sees the video "Liverpool - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop and asks how much. "?100" says the shopkeeper.
                                "That's a bit steep, how come it's so dear?"
                                "Well its a tenner for the video and ?90 for the Betamax recorder!

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