TV's, mobile phones, mp3 players, children's virginity....
...The only thing that Scousers can't take is a joke.
...The only thing that Scousers can't take is a joke.
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I got a scouser a plunger for Christmas.
He really enjoys bringing up old shit.Comment
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I was struggling for the words to ask a girl out on a date.
"I'm sorry," I said, "English is difficult for me. It's my second language."
"Awwww," she smiled. "Can I ask where you are from?"
"Liverpool," I replied.Comment
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Security concerns have been raised following reports that the perimeter fencing at Knowsley Safari Park is falling into disrepair and there are no funds available to replace it.
When asked about the consequences of a lion escaping and wandering around Merseyside, a park spokesman said:
"Well, it would just have to try and defend itself the best it could."Comment
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The government have announced that anyone who has bought any lumps of useless Irish meat is entitled to a full refund.
Because of this, Liverpool have asked Spurs for their money back!Comment
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I phoned my boss to pull a sickie this morning. I had to put on a voice though, to make it sound like I was genuinely unfit for work.
So I used a scouse accent.Comment
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Jamie Carragher: "If I knew Liverpool would be in the title race I wouldn't have retired" well, If I'd known man was going to land on the moon, I would have tried harder at school and become an astronautComment
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BBC NEWS: Man arrested for letting children live in filth.
Or as the locals call it, Merseyside.Comment
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I'm a mad Liverpool supporter and believe in the message "You will never walk alone"
I believe in this because if you walk alone in Liverpool you will get stabbed and robbed.Comment
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A Liverpool fan walks past a shop and sees the video "Liverpool - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop and asks how much. "?100" says the shopkeeper.
"That's a bit steep, how come it's so dear?"
"Well its a tenner for the video and ?90 for the Betamax recorder!Comment
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