Funny rhymes....any more?

[ajd7]

There once was a woman from bude
Who went for a swim in the nude
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole in her c**t and said f**k off it's private!

[Elric]

mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon
50,000 volts went up its azz
and turned its wool to nylon




the boy stood on the burning deck
eating a red hot scallop
one fell down his trouser leg
and burnt his fooookin bolloxs


humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses
and all the kings men
had scrambled egg for breakfast again

[robbo1]

There was a young woman from Wheeling

Who was caught in a shop for stealing

So she laid on her back and opened her crack

And p*ssed all over the ceiling

[patkins]

Embarrassed girl sends note to her GP. Dear Dr. Hanley I`m in a quandry for I feel that I`ve gone too far, so I`m sending you this, its a sample of my pi*s and it`s here all sealed up in a jar. So the doctor examines the sample and writes back...Dear Miss I`ve examined your p*ss and your body`s creating small bones, you lay on your back and opened your crack and swallowed all but the stones.

[patkins]

There was a young man from Crewe who wanted to catch the 2.2 Said a porter` Dont hurry or flurry nor scurry it`s a minute or two to 2.2.

[oldeno]

Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Sucky F**ky $20,
So horny long time I love you.

[zaphodbb]

mary in the garden picking up sticks lifted up her leg and farted like a man ........ hmmm ok im not a good poet, but im original so ner

[hypno211]

I watched a little worm
a wiggling on its belly
I watched it for a little while
then squashed it with me welly

[hypno211]

To market to market with my uncle Jim
somebody threw a tomato at him
Tomatoes do not hurt said my uncle Jim
but this F#*#*r did cause it came in a tin

[patkins]

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack took out his pen*s and poor Jill she died with laughter.

[smoggy]

The aussie love poem

Of course I love ya darlin'
You're a bloody top notch bird
And when I say yer gorgeous
I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin' there to grab

So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get me arms 'round there

No sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave into gravity
But I know ya did ya best

I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it's very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good
As I was ever gonna get

No matter wot ya look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shutup while the footys on
And get me another beer

[maca]

in days of old
when knights were bold
and toilets werent invented
they pissed there pants
and shit there kecks
and went to bed contented..

[cunny]

An elephant is a delecate bird
She flutters from tree to tree
She does'nt break a single branch
She breaks the ~~~~ing tree.

[cgscott]

Beauty is on the inside
But some may doubt
If its true
Id prefer you inside out

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.

[lego9150]

In days of old, when knights were bold
And Jonny's weren't invented
They put a sock
Upon their cock
And babies were prevented