UK Census forms 2011 - hmm, what shall i be this time...

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  • chroma
    V.I.P. Member
    • Feb 2009
    • 1976

    #46
    Saw the woman doing the rounds today whilst washing my car, ran inside and got "prepped" for her arrival.

    Opened a tin of veg soup, got into a novelty posing pouch and slapped on a white teeshirt then rubbed veg soup down the front and popped a mint to induce the drool.

    Answered the door crosseyed drooling down myself looking full retard and kept groaning and screaming when she asked me questions in between scratching my balls, inducing a facial tick and screaming HEAAAAW!
    Told her im "undelitterate carnt reed gud and skuul never showed me rite good."

    She started freaking, before asking if anyone else was in, i started screaming "im a big boy now," and "i donted need adults no more." she was totaly disturbed by the point i started crying and saying "so aloneley you be my friend?"

    All in all i had a total blast!
    He who laughs last thinks slowest.

    Comment

    • thered
      V.I.P. Member
      • Aug 2008
      • 4915

      #47
      Originally posted by Snowy79
      That family costs us more than the majority of illegal immigrants. Vermin the lot of them.
      not a royalist but that lot make this country more money than it costs to keep em its one of the biggest draws in the country if not the biggest for tourists in london

      Comment

      • popssad
        Newbie
        • Mar 2011
        • 4

        #48
        I don't think the government has heard of Births Marriages & Deaths I remember it as the local registry office .
        Maybe they don't know how to get the info from them.

        Comment

        • Meat-Head
          V.I.P. Member
          • Oct 2009
          • 32000

          #49
          Cool Mummy did mine for me - downside was not allould to put "Jedi" as religion, nor was allould to use the "Meat-Head-Motors" name or address

          sigpicWas Banned For Being Certifiably Insane and Stupid

          Comment

          • sakiblateef
            DK Veteran
            • Jul 2008
            • 311

            #50
            I haven't even looked at my form and I'm not going to either.
            These forms are an invasion of your privacy.

            Comment

            • tshirtman
              V.I.P. Member
              • Dec 2008
              • 1345

              #51
              Originally posted by sakiblateef
              I haven't even looked at my form and I'm not going to either.
              These forms are an invasion of your privacy.
              how do you know it's an invasion of your privacy, if you haven't even looked at it.

              I do know, if you don't fill it in, it will be an invasion of your wallet, with a ?1000 fine, plus costs.
              !retupmoc eht ni deppart m'I !pleH

              Comment

              • everybod44
                Newbie
                • Apr 2011
                • 1

                #52
                my friend had a vist from the census police, there realy on to people this time around.

                Comment

                • Canker_Canison
                  V.I.P. Member
                  • May 2010
                  • 3905

                  #53
                  With over 7 million people not returning them this time round is it any wonder they're having to start chasing early.

                  Got my reminder the other day. Won't be answering the door to any ~~~~er I don't know.
                  Canker

                  "Animal, vegetable or mineral... I'll do anything, to anything, with anything"
                  - The Baby Eating Bishop of Bath & Wells
                  [COLOR=Green]

                  Comment

                  • Evastar
                    V.I.P. Member
                    • Apr 2009
                    • 1220

                    #54
                    was supposed to fill mine out yesterday (irish census) and forgot, they called to the door to collect it this evening. she said she'll come back tomorrow evening

                    Comment

                    • tshirtman
                      V.I.P. Member
                      • Dec 2008
                      • 1345

                      #55
                      there are now 29.000 non compliance officers employed to chase people who haven't filled them in, they will have similar powers to that of TV licence officers,

                      and, out of interest, it's not a bad paid job ?14.55 p/h
                      !retupmoc eht ni deppart m'I !pleH

                      Comment

                      • Grizz
                        DK Veteran
                        • Sep 2010
                        • 1598

                        #56
                        Hope this guy isnt one of your non compliance officers,
                        (3rd Google image of "CACI Employeess")


                        Comment

                        • cablefreejunkie
                          DK Veteran
                          • Jul 2008
                          • 1717

                          #57
                          just had two women at the door with clipboards about ten minutes before writing this post,didnt look like BAC so im assuming they were census folk,couldnt be arsed to answer the door so will have to wait for my rant to them on another day,
                          The control of information is the consolidation of power

                          ?I care not what puppet is placed on the throne of England to rule the Empire. The man who controls Britain?s money supply controls the British Empire and I control the British money supply.? ? Nathan Rothschild



                          IF I HELPED HIT THE THANKS BUTTON

                          Comment

                          • Grizz
                            DK Veteran
                            • Sep 2010
                            • 1598

                            #58
                            i had mine twice today, ignored the first time, got caught the second so told her i was elsewhere on the night. what i really wanted to do was this but i thought it was over the top


                            [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjGpcEA-FyE"]YouTube - Hannibal Lecter - Fava Beans and Chianti[/ame]

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                            • patkins
                              V.I.P. Member
                              • Oct 2009
                              • 3662

                              #59
                              I reluctantly filled ours in Sunday night. What a scrawl,should keep the Enigma code breakers busy for a while.

                              Comment

                              • Evastar
                                V.I.P. Member
                                • Apr 2009
                                • 1220

                                #60
                                i forgot about it again today, she called again this evening and i filled it out, told her to come back in an hour, so she did and its gone

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