Advice with my ex please.

[Snowy79]

Your wife will not have a leg to stand on and the Police will not get involved as you have joint parental rights. I won't go into it in detail but I took custody of my Daughter last year. I learnt a few home truths about my Ex Wife (not divorced yet). She was on holiday in Spain when they came out and I had been looking after my Daughter for a week. She was due to arrive home on the Friday that I discovered these things and I flipped. I contacted Social Services as there was no way I was going to let my Daughter stay with this woman and informed them I was collecting my Daughter from School and taking her to my house and explained the reasons why. They asked when she was due back in Country and when I was collecting my Daughter. They said the Police can not get involved as I am the parent also.

I was going to collect me Daughter about 16:30hrs and the Wife was due in Country at the same time. Social Services actualy phoned me to tell me they had spoken to the school and I was to pick my Daughter up straight away in case my wifes flight was early. When my Wife discovered what I had done she tried to kick up a stink but Social Services arranged a meeting at a neutral place and laid everything out for her. Basicaly I had Parental rights so in law as long as I never stopped my Daughter going to School she would have to drag me through the Courts where all evidence will be given to the Judge. Needless to say she never wanted the this to go to Court so she had to wind her neck in.

It was a serious wake up call for my Wife and completely turned her around. My Daughter is back living with my Ex but she is a changed woman. Social Services the school and all concerned in my Daughter care now keep an eys out for her so things are looking good for now.

[eddie4x]

if his mum wants him back give him back if shes sole carer of him you can and WILL get arrested for kidknap iv been there and done that before mediation is shit but what i would do is phone nhs direct and ask to get the lady in question sectioned may seem bit far fetched but she could be bipolar/etc and if shes hitting your son i wouldnt think twice about it you need to find all of her weak points and list them if you know how to push her buttons do so not via text as you can use them in court make her slip up so social arnt onthe mothers side as per always but yea have a look at farthers for justice you may find a layer you can talk to...
or if you can sweet talk her into signing an arrangement as to when you have him if she breaks it take it to court she isnt consistant enough tobe a good parent to your son the court will look at this from whats best for your son not social looking at the mum court is the fairest way and she breaks the arrangement from court police can be called by you to get your son or get your son a passport and move country she cant do shit then...
my sons only 19months and dissabled so he obv doesnt understand this but your son this will really be affecting him get it sorted asap mate your not doing it to spite ur ex your doing it for your son if i found out my ex ever hit my son i would beat the crap out of her wether i go to jail or not my sons worth it to me!

[eddie4x]

Your wife will not have a leg to stand on and the Police will not get involved as you have joint parental rights. I won't go into it in detail but I took custody of my Daughter last year. I learnt a few home truths about my Ex Wife (not divorced yet). She was on holiday in Spain when they came out and I had been looking after my Daughter for a week. She was due to arrive home on the Friday that I discovered these things and I flipped. I contacted Social Services as there was no way I was going to let my Daughter stay with this woman and informed them I was collecting my Daughter from School and taking her to my house and explained the reasons why. They asked when she was due back in Country and when I was collecting my Daughter. They said the Police can not get involved as I am the parent also.

I was going to collect me Daughter about 16:30hrs and the Wife was due in Country at the same time. Social Services actualy phoned me to tell me they had spoken to the school and I was to pick my Daughter up straight away in case my wifes flight was early. When my Wife discovered what I had done she tried to kick up a stink but Social Services arranged a meeting at a neutral place and laid everything out for her. Basicaly I had Parental rights so in law as long as I never stopped my Daughter going to School she would have to drag me through the Courts where all evidence will be given to the Judge. Needless to say she never wanted the this to go to Court so she had to wind her neck in.

It was a serious wake up call for my Wife and completely turned her around. My Daughter is back living with my Ex but she is a changed woman. Social Services the school and all concerned in my Daughter care now keep an eys out for her so things are looking good for now.

sorry but you where/are married its a whole nother ball game for us mate at least ur ex is sorting her self out though
when ur not married you have no rights really you have to take a hell of alot of shit to be a single farther thats why theres sooooo many single mums csa and all that give them the right to keep your child away from you so tht you have to pay them the most money i only see my son once ever 2 weeks coz if i had him more the csa would be less its beyond a joke the pm needs a slap for condoning this.

[eddie4x]

you know its cheaper to hire a hitman then it is a layer for these cases

[chalky 4]

As well as text, remember this is an open forum ! also twitter,facebook etc. can be traced, be careful.

[Snowy79]

Probably best to go on one of the Parenting web sites for the best advice. I can only go on what happened in my case and the Social Services confirmed that as my name was on the birth certificate I had joint parental rights and as such it is not a Police matter. There may be a difference if you are not married but phone the Social Services for the definitive answer. If your name is not on the birth certificate your screwed as you have no rights whatsoever. Except your right to get shafted for maintenance that is.

[bayernfc]

"are you on drugs" what a lame stuck up comment. both of my children went to state school and are now in university one wants to be a history teacher the other a dentist
so from my experience nothing wrong with a comp!

[Fellianis Wig]

Bulldogs got no balls either at least say why you keep following me round the forum deleting my posts without explanation...

[Bulld0g]

Are they big enough now ? Why do you think i have to give you or anyone else an explanation if i delete a post.
Show some respect after your holiday or have a longer one.

[dctyper]

I will try to be brief.

I have a 9 year old son that lives with his mother. At the moment I am on good talking terms with the her.

In the past my son attended private school that was being paid for by a trust fund in my sons name.
His mother, without any discussion with me or that school, withdrew him on the last day of term.
Initially the school pursued a terms money from the mother which eventually lead to court action. The mother pointed out to the school that fact was there were 2 people that had signed the agreement on a joint and several basis, her and me. The school addressed this problem by including me in the court case.

She believes that she has a case, and I believe she does not. Through the court mediation services I have managed to get the school to accept an amount of ?2000 as settlement out of court. The original bill was ?2480 but now it is going to court the fees and interest will bring it up to around ?3000.
If she wins lovely, if she loses she intends to plead poverty and I feel I will need to pay the major amount outstanding.

I have offered to pay the ?2000 and allow the mother to pay me back ?1000 over an agreeable timeframe (I am looking at ?75 to ?100 per month). Her response was I am not prepared to get into debt to you. I want my day in court
I have said it is fair that my liability should not go beyond ?1000 and if she goes to court and loses, I will pay the court and would expect her to come to an agreement with me where she repays me the total less ?1000. Again her attitude is she will not do a deal with me at all.
I have also offered her ?1000 cash to keep provided she accepts everything beyond that. So if she wins she has just made herself ?1000. Again not acceptable to her.

So does anyone know where I stand?
It feels like she is getting her day in court with nothing to lose. She has already stated she intends to pay nothing and does not mind a CCJ. Can/will the judge decide who pays what and over what period of time. If, as I believe the mother is going to plead poverty and offer like ?5.00 per week, then surely the school are going to ask me to pay the bulk.
My intention is either to let her have her day in court, pay the bill if she loses, and then reduce maintenance payments over a period of time. Or to do the same prior to any court case.

Obviously the reduction of maintenance money is going to cause 3rd world war, but I firmly believe that I am dealing with someone that is being extremely selfish over situation that was created solely by her

Thoughts and advice please.

the cost will be dealt to both of you and you are both responsible to pay.

you could agree with the judge to pay 50% each or you pay the full amount and counter claim the other 50% off her

dc

[andy91]

Well done Bulldog i think he was the one who needed to be neutered

Andy.

[Lyrrad]

Okay

It's been a long time and boy have things changed. Back in December 4th my son was given to me with a black eye. I did go to the police. They told me to keep my son until they investigated the circumstances. My son was happy to be with me. His mother then immediately demanded our son to be returned. When I told her that I had contacted the police and they advised he stay with me she didn't care about it or seemingly believe me.

She then took court action against me demanding a residence order and trying to at the same time get reduced contact for me as a form of punishment.

I appeared in court on 14th Dec and the Judge made it quite clear that she wanted my son to be returned to his mother but could not make judgement because there was an ongoing police investigation. The child would remain with me until 30th Dec and I was to allow supervised visits until that time. The mother refused all supervised visits which included her own daughter from a previous marriage as the supervisor.

On 30th Dec the court case asked for a CAFCASS report but the child was to remain with me and I was given a temp residency order. The new court hearing date was for 23 April 2012. My son has started a new school in London and is happily settled in. His mother forced another court case on 16th Jan stating I was not allowing access. The Judge made it quite clear I was behaving reasonably and that if the mother created another un-necessary court case she could be liable for all costs. She refused in court to name the supervisor of her choice to me, telling the Judge it was not required. The Judge thought differently and told her that as she thought my son should still be able to see his mother and that because she refused to see him supervised with a third party that I was happy with then she must see our son in a contact order. The mother opted for this choice. She then refused to see him in a contact centre stating it was demeaning to her. I have taken legal representation and it has cost me many ?1,000's. I have allowed her supervised visits at my home or with her daughter whenever she has chosen to ask, or when I have offered and she has accepted. All in all she has seen our son no more than 5 times.

On 23rd April hearing the Judge again stated that our son should reside with me and there is to be a final court hearing day in 3 months time.

The mother has completely failed to recognise her wrong doing and is walking around as the 'victim'. It has been noted by CAFCASS who interviewed my son. His wishes are to live with me, see more of his mum, and for his mum to stop slagging off his father. All of his requests are not accepted by his mother.

Life is different for me now, but I truly believe my son's life has improved.

If I truly believed that my son was better off with his mother I would work to ensure he was returned to her. However I am 100% sure that whilst his mother is basically in denial she is a danger to my son and therefore he should remain with me and she should continue to be offered supervised visits until such time as she has shown some kind of change of heart in the awful matter. It is pretty much what CAFCASS have stated and she cannot believe it when I state that I want to follow their suggestions rather than try to help her see our son unsupervised.

[Snowy79]

Well done LLyrad. You're doing your Son proud. I wish more parents cared for their kids like you.

[vinnie1985]

would you not be supported with the child support agencys involvment in this case?

[Lainie]

well done. i hope he gets to stay with you.

as a matter of interest does your ex work?

i ask because is she the one getting child tax credit and child benefit.

is she in morgaged or rented accommodation

again i ask as if you have children living with you your local housing allowance (ie max housing benefit you can receive per week) goes up.

ie
single mum with 2 kids -lha ?150 per week
single person - ?90 per week

so if in accommodation where rent is ?600 a month she could stay there originally as housing benefit would pay it
if no kids then she would only get around ?360 per month housing benefit and would need to find the rest herself. if on jsa or esa she couldnt so would have to move to cheaper accommodation

if you need any more info on this kinda thing pm me or send me an email