dick heads thread-whats the daft things u have done

[gmb45]

Bought a mk 1 ford anglia for ?30 when i was a kid ( my 1st car) , knew nothing about cars , a workmate told me to just make sure it was full of oil when i collected it and i'd be ok .
I picked it up (got it for ?26 in the end) and took it to the 1st garage to check the oil .
Pulled onto the forcourt , lifted the bonnet , unsecrewed the rocker box cover and dipped my finger in , oh dear , no oil !.
Went back and to from the forcourt shop , until i'd put 3 gallons of oil in , and could feel it with my finger in the rocker box .
drove 400yds from the forcourt and it blew up !
You learn by your mistakes !!

knew where this was going before i finshed reading

[westkill]

when me and my m8 were about 20 working for this scaffold firm we came back in the lorry one afternoon to load up for the next day
there was a new labourer in the yard painting the new boards and that sort of thing, so me and my m8 grabed the young kiddy held in him down pulled his trousers down got the paint brush painted his nuts and right round the crack of his arse and left him on the ground he was gutted he never came back to work again

[gmb45]

Pants or no pants this would not of helped me.

Friday night, loads of beer and a curry, next day got to take bride to work, get in car start driving and then have a fag, get to her work but on way back the fag kicks the digestive system in, not a problem just squeeze them ass cheeks together I thought, on the home straight now, total butt clenching but manage to get car on drive, the buckle of the belt is getting undone, got the house door open, and then................. SHIT maself...... no way.......... no stopping it as a walk to the toilet so a just carry on doing it as a walk, total mudding ma pants, av now got the cheek to sit on the bog and finish off wots left in ma bowels, at this point a think, get yer shitty breeks off, so a undress while am still sitting on the bog, at this point there is shite everyware, all over me and there is shit prints in the floor leading to the shower, am now in shower and trying to wash the stench off me, thats a hard job believe me, got maself dried and now the shit prints over the bathroom floor need to be cleaned so a use the towel that a dried maself with, job done you would never no, shitty denims in washing machine and floor clean but, a left the shitty towel in the bathroom and the next day the missus used it when she had a shower, well she had one shitty face and a was in the shit house, again.

JoK

[Bulld0g]

Pants or no pants this would not of helped me.

Friday night, loads of beer and a curry, next day got to take bride to work, get in car start driving and then have a fag, get to her work but on way back the fag kicks the digestive system in, not a problem just squeeze them ass cheeks together I thought, on the home straight now, total butt clenching but manage to get car on drive, the buckle of the belt is getting undone, got the house door open, and then................. SHIT maself...... no way.......... no stopping it as a walk to the toilet so a just carry on doing it as a walk, total mudding ma pants, av now got the cheek to sit on the bog and finish off wots left in ma bowels, at this point a think, get yer shitty breeks off, so a undress while am still sitting on the bog, at this point there is shite everyware, all over me and there is shit prints in the floor leading to the shower, am now in shower and trying to wash the stench off me, thats a hard job believe me, got maself dried and now the shit prints over the bathroom floor need to be cleaned so a use the towel that a dried maself with, job done you would never no, shitty denims in washing machine and floor clean but, a left the shitty towel in the bathroom and the next day the missus used it when she had a shower, well she had one shitty face and a was in the shit house, again.

JoK

Now that was funny.

[norbert]

One of the many stupid things i have done got me locked up for the night. Getting my first wages at the younge age of 17, me and two mates hit the town. After downing my entire first wage, ?34 on larger, we walked home.

We had to pass the local college, my mate noticed the window was open to the kitchen, so not having had a kebab in our drunken stuper though it would be a good idea to get something to eat here...

Climbing in through the window laughing we began to forege through the larder, how were we to know the whole place was microswitched to the police station.

befor we knew it there were police everyware, my lasting memory will be of my mate fighting with two police men because the toast he was cooking was burning, funny how quick you sober up!!

Oh how we laughted as we walked to the cells carrying our 1" thick bed for the night.

I am now 40 yrs old and when i hear of the stupidity of the youths today i always think back on that and try not to be to judgemental..

[gmb45]

One of the many stupid things i have done got me locked up for the night. Getting my first wages at the younge age of 17, me and two mates hit the town. After downing my entire first wage, ?34 on larger, we walked home.

We had to pass the local college, my mate noticed the window was open to the kitchen, so not having had a kebab in our drunken stuper though it would be a good idea to get something to eat here...

Climbing in through the window laughing we began to forege through the larder, how were we to know the whole place was microswitched to the police station.

befor we knew it there were police everyware, my lasting memory will be of my mate fighting with two police men because the toast he was cooking was burning, funny how quick you sober up!!

Oh how we laughted as we walked to the cells carrying our 1" thick bed for the night.

I am now 40 yrs old and when i hear of the stupidity of the youths today i always think back on that and try not to be to judgemental..

booze has a lot to answer for eh ?

[xant14]

Pants or no pants this would not of helped me.

Friday night, loads of beer and a curry, next day got to take bride to work, get in car start driving and then have a fag, get to her work but on way back the fag kicks the digestive system in, not a problem just squeeze them ass cheeks together I thought, on the home straight now, total butt clenching but manage to get car on drive, the buckle of the belt is getting undone, got the house door open, and then................. SHIT maself...... no way.......... no stopping it as a walk to the toilet so a just carry on doing it as a walk, total mudding ma pants, av now got the cheek to sit on the bog and finish off wots left in ma bowels, at this point a think, get yer shitty breeks off, so a undress while am still sitting on the bog, at this point there is shite everyware, all over me and there is shit prints in the floor leading to the shower, am now in shower and trying to wash the stench off me, thats a hard job believe me, got maself dried and now the shit prints over the bathroom floor need to be cleaned so a use the towel that a dried maself with, job done you would never no, shitty denims in washing machine and floor clean but, a left the shitty towel in the bathroom and the next day the missus used it when she had a shower, well she had one shitty face and a was in the shit house, again.

JoK

Haha... classic!